The Beautiful Letdown
by ladyinblue6
Summary: Bella's the weird chick at school, Edward's the mayor's son. Homecoming brings them together and lands them with a bun in the oven. How will they deal with the pregnancy and their peers? Inspired by Juno.
1. Chapter 1

This was it. Senior year, yo. I was finally here. My last Homecoming dance. I wasn't big into the whole high school scene. I don't mean that I hang out with college boys or anything. I don't really hang out with anyone. High school was pretentious, in my opinion. It was all about who you knew and how far you could spread your legs. I had one good friend, that's all I needed. Rosalie Hale was totally kick ass as far as friends go. She's all cheerleader-type and I don't even know what type I am. I think people assume I'm the pseudo lesbian of the school, like I only hang out with Rose to make my social status go up.

Yeah, like I give a flying crap. I don't want to end up fighting with girls over who gets to be Alice Brandon's new BFF or who gets to rub their tits against Emmett McCarty's face. Nah, I'd rather sit at home, chillax with my dad, Charlie; my stepmom, Sue; and my stepbrother, Seth. I guess our dog, Jake, was alright, too. That little shit kept me amused most of the time.

Rosalie loved the fact that people that we were a lesbian couple. She had a flair for the dramatics, and I just went along with it. I didn't have much else to do. So we got all dressed up, and went to the dance, turning down all the guys that tried to dance with us and getting shit canned on the spiked punch. It was classic.

"Bella," Rosalie whined, drawing out the "a" of my name. I knew she wanted a favour from me and I knew I probably wouldn't like it. "Let's juss' go to Masen's party, 'kay? Nobody even recognizes you when you're all dressed up."

"Rose," I whined right back. "I effin' hate these people. Why are you torturing me?"

She grabbed my shoulders, looking down on me. She was, like, four inches taller than me without heels on. "Bella, this is your last chance to go to the after-party of Homecoming. You're not missing it."

I sighed, giving into Rosalie's complaining. I always gave into her. Maybe I was a lesbian. "Fine, but you're going to feed me drinks until everything looks like the sun is shining out of God's ass."

Rose snorted. "You're so weird, Bee. That's why I love ya."

"Whatever," I grumbled, letting her lead me outside and into one of the many limo's heading to the Masen mansion. It wasn't actually a mansion; I just liked calling it that for fun. It was a slightly larger than normal house. Edward Masen was a guy in our class. All forty of us knew him. Big whoop-dee-shit, I say. There's freakin' forty of us, not a hundred and fifty. I knew all the first names of our teachers, and no one gave me a pat on the back for that.

The bubbly was being poured in the limo I was whisked away in. God, I love teenagers. Well, I am a teenager, so I guess I can't really love teenagers yet. Actually, no one really loves teenagers, except for rapists.

Yeah, I definitely loved teenagers.

I was partying with people that I never thought I'd party with. Tyler Crowley was Forks' main drug dealer, which was fantabulous. All the power to that guy. Eric Yorkie was that hot-ass geeky guy that every cheerleader tried on for size; therefore, making him the least desirable lay. I would not go anywhere near his dick. All those STD's would probably just float away from his crotch. Jessica Stanley was the head cheerleader, that peppy bitch. She was like a puppy. A damn annoying puppy that you wouldn't mind just kicking clear off your front porch. Not that I'd ever give into animal abuse. Well, at least not to the good animals. I've cleared a few porcupines off the road in my driving career. Lauren Mallory was the school bitch. I don't know if she just gave everyone that dirty look or if that was just the way her face was, but either way, she looked like a real McAsshole.

We were having a grand old time, all of us random seniors. The music was cranked, and I couldn't even understand the words, but I loved it. The girls all stood up in the sun roof and one of the guys grabbed my ass and I almost liked it, but then I remembered that I was Bella Swan, not some hussy, as my stepmom liked to word it. So, I sat back down and drank some more. I had a very interesting conversation with Tyler on the affects of acid on the human brain and was almost tempted to try some just so I could trip balls.

"We're here!" Lauren called from the sun roof.

My stomach erupted with a flurry of moths. They ate at my stomach and I thought I was gunna blow chunks everywhere, but then the car came to a stop and I was fine again. I was quick on my feet, metaphorically. I could barely walk across the hallway to my bathroom without tripping over those damn carpet dwellers. I swear to God, I'll see them laughing at me one day.

"Let's go!" Rosalie squealed grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the limo. She straightened out her tiny red dress and pulled off her heels while running towards the Masen mansion. Thankfully my dress covered my tiny ass and had at least one strap. And fuck heels, too. I wore my Converse shoes. Yeah, I'm pretty classy. Rose said that I was making a statement, and apparently that was a good thing. I didn't care whether it made a statement or not, I was wearing my Converse's whether she liked it or not.

Soon, we were in. I was _in_. The inner circle was all here. I felt...elite. Like, I was getting a glimpse into what life could be like if I actually gave a crap about anything besides being awkward and quirky.

Rosalie immediately grabbed us drinks and then started talking to someone I didn't even recognize. So, I wandered, like any normal weirdo would do. I could be a killer wallflower. I could totally rock the wall.

But, instead, I decided to talk to some of my peers, like every retard does at the party. There was a good chance that I was that annoying chick that everyone tried to avoid, and left one of their friends behind to deal with. Yeah, I could rock that, too.

"Hey, there," I greeted, clapping someone's arm. I didn't know who it was, but I was gunna talk to him or her.

"Oh, hey." It turned out to be Edward Masen. What were my chances? He looked confused. He probably didn't recognize me in this get-up. My school clothes were different, to say the least. "Who are you?"

"Bella Swan," I replied before taking a drink and sticking out my hand. His shook it slowly, looking me over carefully. "You probably know me. I'm that weird chick at school."

"Oh... Yeah." He knew who I was. Everyone knew me. I was famous in Forks, but for all the wrong reasons. Although, I think all the guys totally wanted to tap this piece of ass right here. I was that crazy bitch that everyone was scared of, but all the guys totally wanted in her pants. "I didn't recognize you."

"Rosalie, my lesbian lover, is a miracle worker, what can I say?"

"So you two really are lesbians," he stated, looking at me with a crooked smile. I've seen people literally throw themselves at Edward over that smile.

"Oh, yeah, totally," I answered seriously, pulling my dress up. "I love her...tits?"

Edward snorted. "You're a terrible liar."

I shrugged. "Whatever, Edwin. Why don't you make yourself useful and get me a new drink or something?"

"It's Edward actually, and I'd love to get you a new drink, but only if you come with me. I need a pretty girl on my arm." He winked and offered his elbow to me.

I threw my head back and laughed, but took his arm anyway.

"You're not half bad!" Edward assured me. "You know, if you dressed like this more often, I'd be willing to bet that every guy would be after you."

"All the guys are already after me," I told him nonchalantly. "They just don't like admitting that they have a weird obsession with the different girl."

Edward leaned into me. "How'd you know?"

I smirked. "I know more than most people think. I may be awkward, but I'm not retarded."

Edward's breath was heavy against my neck. I felt claustrophobic. What the hell was going on? Why was he so close? Why was I so horny?

"How about we grab a few drinks, and then I'll show you my room," Edward suggested, pulling away from me and tugging me towards the kitchen.

I just nodded. I was dazed. So much for being quick on my feet.

Before I knew it, I was straddling Edward Cullen's very impressive package, making out with him.

What. The. Fuck.

Don't get me wrong, it was flippin' fantastic. I mean, _dude,_ I was grinding all up on the hottest guy in school. And his hands were like two little miracles. Seriously, no one could possibly have better hands...or fingers.

Next thing I know, my dress is gone and I'm bare ass naked and riding the cowboy. God, was I ever drunk.

This is the last thing I remember from Homecoming night. What a helluva night it was.

* * *

_Inspired by Juno, obviously. Mostly this was just me having fun. I didn't write it for anything else besides my own laughter. Hopefully some people join in with me._

_I'm posted TBL first, which is all BPoV, and then I'll post "Learning to Breathe" later, which is in EPoV. Both titles are from Switchfoot songs. The Beautiful Letdown was a perfect description of this fic in my mind, so idk. Just decided to run with it._

_Love,  
Mare._

_(And Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there. :) Thanks for everything!) _


	2. Chapter 2

_Two Months Later_

These little plus signs have changed a lot of lives. My name was added to that list. I'd already peed on three of those sticks. I was pregnant, and I barely knew the father.

Well, _my_ father was going to kill me. Fo shiz. He'd probably kill me, and then bring me back to life just to kill me again. He was going to be right pissed off. I knew it. How in the world was I supposed to explain this to him?

"_Yeah, Dad, I got loaded at Homecoming, and then Rose took me to this party, and I sort of ended up riding Edward Masen's saddle, if you're catching what I'm throwing."_

He hated my sense of humour. He didn't understand it, therefore, he hated it. I was his little girl, the joy in his life, but I was also his biggest disappointment. He wanted me to be like all the other good girls. Instead, I was kind of a brat. My imagination was too much for any teacher to handle, and yes, I'll admit that I was out of hand many times. That's just who I was.

I had a weird way of showing my feelings for people. I liked extremities a lot. When I had my first boyfriend, I would sneak over to his house in the dead of the night and do crazy little things, like make a scavenger hunt for him to find a pointless present, like a bag of pretzels or a little bottle of bubbles.

The only problem was that I doubted that Edward or my dad would appreciate my efforts to distract them for the truth. Hell, Edward probably didn't even remember Homecoming. I'd just tell Rosalie first, see what I should do.

I grabbed my cell phone and dialled Rose's number. She was pretty much the only person I called, so I just programmed her number into the speed dial.

"What's up, what's up? My dick is huge," Rosalie answered.

"Dude, I think I'm pregnant," I blurted.

"What? Who is this?" she demanded.

"It's the Sham-Wow guy, watch your back, 'cause I'm gunna take you from behind," I replied sarcastically. "It's Bella, who did you think it was?"

"I don't know," she replied. "But thank God it was you and not my dad. He would have flipped shit."

"Rose, I'm telling you I'm pregnant, and you're telling me about your dad's extreme temper issues," I muttered, rubbing my eyes.

"What? You're seriously pregnant? Like the real kind of pregnant, not the fake one?"

"I didn't know there was a fake kind of pregnant."

"There totes is, but anyway, tell me what's going on down under."

"Well, I took three pregnancy tests at the drug store, y'know, where that doucher, Embry Call, works at? Yeah, three little pink plus's. Does that mean it's a girl?"

"Are you sure, man? Like, maybe you should go to the doctor," Rosalie suggested.

I shook my head and then realized that Rose couldn't see me through the phone. God, that'd be cool though.

"No, I don't wanna go to the doctor."

"Well, get rid of the thing, then."

"What do you mean? Like, an abortion?"

"No, just shit it out. Of course get an abortion," Rosalie replied.

I considered this. It'd clear up a lot of questions and yelling and awkwardness. I wouldn't have to tell anyone, not my fam, not Edward, and no one at school would have another reason to make fun of me.

"Do we even have an abortion clinic in Forks?"

"Hells yeah we do," Rose said. "Don't you remember when Tanya got hers done? I had to phone for her."

"No, I don't really remember," I admitted. "How old was she? Like, fourteen?"

"Yeah, something like that," Rosalie murmured. "But, anyway, I could totes call for you."

"I think I can handle myself."

"You sure, man?"

"Yeah, I'll call you later."

"Dude, don't you think you should tell the dad? Who is the dad anyway?"

"Who do you think, Rose?" I asked her exasperatedly.

She burst out laughing. "It's Mike, isn't it? God, I didn't think you'd _actually_ do that with him, but that's cool, I guess. Everyone needs somebody to love."

"No! God, no." I shuddered. "It's Masen."

Rosalie was silent.

"Hello? Earth to Rose?"

"I forgot about that," she whispered.

"I think he did, too."

"You need to tell him, Bella. Like, for realsies. He's one of the few decent people in this shithole of a town, and he'd want to know. You have to at least ask his opinion on this whole ordeal."

"Rose, I haven't talked to the guy since. I don't think he remembers."

"Dude, he totally remembers. Everyone talked about it for, like, weeks. Just because you didn't notice doesn't mean it didn't happen."

I nodded in agreement. I didn't really notice much of anything at school. I was basically oblivious to the pointing and snarky comments now. I'd dealt with this for four years already.

"So, I should tell him then?"

"Yeah, you definitely should. I'll drive you and everything," Rosalie offered.

"Um, yeah, okay." Holy shit sticks, I was gunna actually do this. "Wanna pick me up, like, now? Can you get a hold of Edward somehow?"

"Yeah, I'll text him right now. Be there in ten seconds."

We hung up. I sat down on my bed, in total shock. Is this what my life was going to be like? Would I have this baby and be a single mom for college? God that would blow. I couldn't even afford to put gas in my crappy truck, let alone pay for college, diapers and other baby things, and whatever else responsibility brought.

Rosalie pulled up in her snazzy BMW and I hopped in, not bothering to tell my parents where I'd be. They didn't really care anyway.

"Can you tell me what everyone's been saying?" I asked as soon as I sat down. I'd never been so concerned about my social image until now.

"Nobody really believed it to be honest." I knew Rose would be blunt with me. "Emmett McCarty was the one that's been spreading it, and everyone knows that Emmett likes to tease Edward, so no one knows whether it's the truth or not." Rose shrugged. "I dunno. People teased Edward, but a lotta the guys kinda looked up to him, too. It was weird as hell hearing everyone talk about you like that."

"Like what?"

"Well, the guys all wanted to get to know you, but they didn't want to be seen with you, and all the girls wanted to ask you about the night, but they were scared of you," Rosalie explained. "People actually wanted to be with you, Bella. Everyone's just too superficial to try it out. My popularity sure as hell flared."

"Wow," I breathed. People actually wanted to know about _me._ The real me, not the girl that wore grandpa sunglasses and acted like a child.

The rest of the ride was silent. I was trying to figure out how to approach this situation. Why didn't they write books on how to tell your one night stand that you're pregnant? Thank God I'd put on my lucky underwear today.

"Well, here we are," Rosalie murmured. "I think I should wait in the car."

I nodded. "Wish me luck?"

"Luck, luck, luck." She gave me a quick, tight hug and then slapped my ass as I left the car.

I cleared my throat and adjusted my sweater and ran my fingers through my tangled hair before knocking on the gigantic door.

Edward answered.

"Oh, uh, hey, Bella," he greeted, his ears turning red in embarrassment.

"Hey," I replied quietly. "Can I come in?"

Edward jumped to the side. "Yeah, sure, come on in. My parents aren't home..." He blushed a deeper red. "I mean, never mind."

I grinned at that. "Calm your ass down, I'm not here to rape you."

That didn't help Edward relax at all.

"So what're you here for anyway?" Edward asked with a scowl.

"Well, uh, I do have something to tell you," I began. "I mean, I wouldn't have told you unless Rosalie made me. I was just going to take care of this all by myself and kind of keep it to myself, but I guess I really do live in my own little world because I had no idea that people knew about..." – I didn't want to actually say the words, so I just gestured between us – "so, I thought you deserved to have an opinion on this." I took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

* * *

_Thanks to everyone for reviewing and subscribing and faving. It's greatly appreciated._

_I'm going to try to post every Sunday. I'm surprised I remember to post today, actually. I've had a weekend from hell. On Friday, I stepped on a nail, and now my foot is swollen because I had to walk two miles last night after a grad party. Five in the fucking morning and I'm stumbling to our truck with three out of the five people I was with. The other two passed out on some random old lady's lawn? IDK. We're a little crazy here. Also, I'm pretty sure the chaperones at the grad party despise us. I'm pretty sure the entire despises us now. We caused a giant ruckus 'cause we wanted to keep partying while they were shutting the party down. Yeah. Not cool._

_So, on top of all that, I went to watch my 16-year-old sister play ball today and got a little burnt and some heat rash. While nursing a hangover from hell. Shitty times, hah._

_How was your weekend?_


	3. Chapter 3

Edward sucked in his breath like he could make what I just said disappear. He was in shock. Duh. Who wouldn't be? We were in effin' high school and this wasn't some PG-13 romantic comedy. This was real life.

"You can, uh, phone me when you're feeling up to talking, if you want," I suggested. "You're upset, y'know? Go with what you feel."

Edward started shaking his head and running his spider fingers through his hair. I started gnawing on my bottom lip and picking at my already too short fingernails. I wasn't really much of a nervous person because I didn't give a crap what anyone else said about me, but I don't know. This was different. I had something growing inside me. Fuck. _I had something growing inside me._

"Fuck," Edward muttered. He was pacing now. I leaned against the wall of the porch and tried to blend in with my surroundings like a chameleon. He clearly needed some alone time, but I needed answers, dammit!

"So, should I go, or what?" I asked. "I can leave if you're not comfortable with me being around you. I was planning on getting an abortion anyway. Then no one'll have to know about this, we can pretend like nothing happened, it'll be ballin'."

"I don't think my life will ever be _ballin'_ after this," Edward mumbled. "And you can't get an abortion. I don't agree with them. You'd be killing my...my baby."

This time I sucked in my breath. This _thing_ was going to be a _baby_ in nine months. It'd have, like, dimples and shit.

"Right," I finally whispered. "So ex-nay on the abortion, then. Cool beans. Uh, so do you want me to keep it?" _Please say no, please say no, please say no!_

"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward apologized. "I don't think either of us is ready for a baby, and the chances of us even being near each other after high school are slim. It would be horrible for the both of us. What about adoption? It could even be an open adoption so we could see it sometimes, get annual updates and all that."

"How do you know so much adoption? Has this happened to you before?" My nose crinkled in disgust. If I'd banged a baby daddy, I'd be kinda pissed.

"No, no, no, no," Edward assured me. "I've never gotten a girl pregnant before. I'm usually more careful. But, my younger sister, Katie, is adopted. Her parents were in the same kind of situation that we're...in...now." Edward went back to running his fingers through his hair. "How did this happen? Fuck."

I could have been my usual quirky self and made some smart remark like, "Well, you see, Edward, first of all, you took me to your bedroom, and then..." But this wasn't funny. This was going to blow my nonexistent balls.

"I don't know," I whispered. "I'm sorry." It felt like this was my fault, like if I hadn't shown up at that party in that particular dress, this wouldn't have happened. If I wasn't the weird girl that everyone wanted to get with at least once before high school ended, this wouldn't have happened. So many variables. I fucking hate algebra.

"No, I'm sorry." Edward looked at me seriously. "It's my fault."

This kinda burnt my bubbles. It was clearly _my_ fault. Why couldn't he see that?

"Shut up," I snapped. "You know you wouldn't want anything to do with me if I weren't the weirdy or if I wasn't wearing that dress or if I had just stayed at home like I should have."

"Bella, that has nothing to do with anything," Edward said. "This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been drinking or worn a condom like a normal person."

So he had to be drunk to get with me. I mean, it's not like I didn't expect that. Who in their right mind would get with Bella Swan? Well, besides Mike Newton.

"I...I didn't mean it like that," Edward murmured in defeat, obviously seeing the look on my face.

"Whatever," I sighed. "So, adoption it is then? Sweet, I'll check ya later, Masen."

"Wait, Bella." Edward grabbed my arm as I turned to walk out the door. "Do you think maybe we should go to the doctor? Make sure everything's good? I'll go with you. I'll be with you every step of the way."

"Can you walk in and demand an ultrasound?" I asked with a confused scowl. I started to panic. "I don't know what I'm doing! I'm not fit to be pregnant. I'm barely mature enough to act like a teenager." I looked down at my chest. "My boobs aren't big enough for this! I look like a pubescent boy!"

Edward grabbed my shoulders, staring into my wide eyes. "Calm down, Bella. It'll be okay. My mom's a nurse, she can get us in." Edward looked away from me. "Shit. My parents."

"Ditto," I mumbled under my breath. "Do you know who my dad is? The freakin' police chief."

"My dad's the mayor," Edward told me.

"Well, looks like we're both gunna die today." It was meant to be a joke, but my voice couldn't seem to pick up the cheery tone. Tears started filling my eyes. "This sucks so much." I looked up at Edward. "Can you just give me a hug, please? I need one really bad."

He nodded with a swallow and pulled me into his chest. I tried to contain my sobs and my entire body was shaking with effort. My tears stained his shirt and I almost felt bad. Almost. But then I remembered how perfect his lips felt compared to mine and how soft his hands were even though he was a teenage boy, and I felt lucky. It was so bizarre to feel lucky to be another statistic, but, really. I had sex with the most popular boy in school, who also happened to be the best looking. The chances of that happening were slim. We were the oddest pair, Edward and I. He was the good looking, athletic type; I was the unique looking, weird type. We were in two entirely different leagues, in circles that were light years away. But we were together in one thing, and it was amazing how one thing can bring two people together like this.

Who am I kidding? I'm having a child with this man, and in the end, it doesn't matter how popular or good looking he is, I'm still going to be the size of a house and push a tiny human being out of my vag. Not cool.

"Shh, it'll be okay," Edward whispered as he ran his hand over my hair. "We'll figure something out."

I stood up, pulling away from him. "Maybe we should go to the doctor right now, get it over with. Maybe it's a false alarm, maybe the three pee sticks I picked were faulty."

Edward gave me a sad smile. We both didn't believe that theory, but it was worth a try, wasn't it?

"Okay, let's go. Do you need a ride, or did you drive here?"

"Rose drove me here, actually. She's waiting in the car," I explained. "I could go with her if you just want to go by yourself."

"No, I'll come with you, if that's okay with Rosalie."

I nodded and started walking towards the car. "Shot gun!" I called over my shoulder with a grin. Edward chuckled and followed me. He even opened the door for me. I snorted before getting in, because, well, guys just didn't do that anymore, and he just shook his head with a smile.

"Well, what's going down?" Rosalie asked as soon as we fastened our seatbelts. "Abortion clinic?"

"No," Edward snapped. He quickly calmed down, sweeping his hands through his hair. "Sorry, no, we're not going to the abortion clinic, we're going to the hospital."

Rosalie gave me a pointed look.

"I'll tell you later," I mouthed. She sighed and peeled out of the yard.

The ride to the hospital was silent. Rosalie turned on the radio and I sat in my seat, pulling my feet onto the leather and wrapping my arms around them. I just listened to the music. I tried not to concentrate on anything else. I needed to get my mind off of things right now. I needed to be...normal. As normal as I could be.

"I'll wait out here," Rose murmured. We were at the hospital already? Sweet baby Jesus. I wasn't ready for this.

"C'mon, Bella," Edward whispered to me. He was holding his hand out to me. I grabbed it and he led me into the hospital.

We were in the waiting room for God only knows how long. This was the worst day of my life. There were no jokes I could crack to distract myself from this situation.

"Bella Swan?" the nurse announced, looking at her clipboard.

"That's me." I stood up and walked towards the room the nurse was leading me to. I sat down on the paper covered table and Edward grasped at my hand. I wanted to tell him to leave, to forget about all of this, because, really, he didn't deserve this. He was going places. He didn't deserve to be pulled down by a teen pregnancy.

"Hello, Bella," Dr. Cullen greeted, looking at my clipboard as he entered the room. Me and Doc C go way back. I was a huge ass klutz when I was younger. I was still a clumsy ass. Docta' C probably knew me better than most of the kids at Forks High School. And that was kind of sad.

"Hey Dr. C," I murmured. "What up? How's Esme?"

"Not a lot, Bella." He grinned at me. "She's doing fine. She's got a huge project in La Push right now, so she's busy."

"Good, good," I replied. "There's nothing really wrong with me today. Well, there's something going on, but it's not particularly _wrong_ or _bad_, per se. But there is something."

"Spit it out, Bella." I usually rambled when I was nervous. Dr. C knew this.

I coughed and tugged at the collar of the sweater I was wearing. "Um, I'm pregnant? I think?"

Dr. Cullen stared at me. This was just a preview of what Dad would be doing when I told him. Dr. Cullen was like an uncle to me. A really young, bangable uncle.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"No, I'm not sure, but I peed on, like, three pregnancy tests, and they all gave me the sinful pink plus signs," I told him exasperatedly. "If you told me I wasn't pregnant, I'd be the happiest chick on this planet, Dr. C. Please, for the love of banana muffins, tell me whether I'm pregnant or not."

"Is he the father?" He nodded towards Edward, but didn't look at him.

"Yeah," I admitted, hanging my head in shame.

Dr. Cullen glanced at Edward and looked away, closing his eyes. "You're Elizabeth's son, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir," Edward answered quietly.

Dr. Cullen sighed. "Well, okay, let's get you checked out, Bella. But, I'm disappointed in you. Both of you, actually. You're both great kids. You know better than this."

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Do you want to stay for this, Edward?" Dr. Cullen asked. "I suggest you do. Maybe it'll teach you a lesson."

Edward swallowed loudly. "I guess so."

It was weird. First of all, my "uncle" was probing my insides. Aw-kward. Secondly, Edward was here to see it. Dr. Cullen made him _watch._ This was a FML moment, fo shiz. I couldn't look at either of them while they were down there. I was all about being awkward, but this was just too weird for me.

"Well, Bella, if you took three pregnancy tests, you're most likely pregnant," Dr. Cullen said. "How long has it been since conception?"

"Around two months," I told him.

He nodded, marking that down on my clipboard. "I suggest you come back for another appointment in a month. Do you want to get an ultra-sound? The baby will have a heartbeat already; maybe some of its face will be developed, too."

I looked at Edward. "Should we?"

"Sure, why not," Edward replied. "Let's go."

Dr. Cullen led us to the ultra-sound technician. It was Jessica Stanley's mom. Shiznit. She was the biggest gossip in town. She'd tell everyone that I was pregnant and that Edward was the father.

"Edward, you don't need to come in if you don't want to," I whispered.

He looked in the room and saw Mrs. Stanley. He looked grim, his mouth a thin line. "No, I'll go. If I'm responsible enough to have sex with girls, I'm responsible enough to deal with the consequences."

I stared at him in awe as we entered the room. I wouldn't do this if I were him. Screw that, my rep was important.

"Oh, Edward," Mrs. Stanley greeted. "What're you doing here?"

Edward smiled at her. "Well, I'm bringing Bella for her first ultra-sound."

"Are you the father?" she whispered, stealing glances at me. Apparently I was deaf, too.

"Yes," Edward sighed.

"Oh, Edward," Mrs. Stanley said, grasping his arm. "I'm so sorry."

"No need to be sorry," he murmured.

She smiled sympathetically at him, and then looked at me with a raised eyebrow, like I was the one that was going to make Edward blow up to the size of a house. "Lay down."

I hopped up on the table and pulled up my shirt. She squirted that blue goo on my stomach. It was cold, just like everyone said on the movies. I didn't really like it.

If an ultra-sound could be performed roughly, Mrs. Stanley did exactly that. "There's the heartbeat, there's the stumps for the legs and arms, and that's all I can see now. You're just over two months along. Your due date for now is May 16th. Thank you and see you in a month." She stood up and left without cleaning off my stomach.

"What the hell is her deal? Is her husband cheating on her again? God," I murmured, grabbing napkins from the table and wiping myself off.

"Here, let me help you with that." Edward started wiping off my stomach as well. "I think she's mad because Jessica and I were dating last year. We broke up a long time ago, though."

"Oh." I didn't really know who Edward dated. I didn't keep tabs on the kids of Forks, unless Rosalie told me something particularly exciting, and even then, I tended to forget it five minutes later. "Should we make like a baby and head out?" Edward gaped at me. Wow, I was so inappropriate. "Sorry."

"S'okay," he assured me quietly, shaking his head. He was probably wondering what he got himself into. I was wondering the exact same thing.

* * *

_Happy May Long, Canadian readers! (: I went bar hopping tonight and had a blast. How's your May Long been going?_

_Just a few little things:_

_I'm on Twitter: maryinblue6 You can follow my fic life and my ridiculous real life. If you enjoy drunken tweets, then I'm your girl. I drunk tweet like it's my job._

_ladyinblue6gmail(dot)com is my gmail. You can add me there, and if we do WC, I'll tease about TBL or Learning to Breathe, Edward's PoV of TBL._

_I've got a few fics on the run right now: TBL; Carpe Diem, which has been a WIP for a year, holy shit; The Scottish Temptress, which only needs an epi; and Dancing on Pianos, which has also been a WIP for over a year now. Just in case you're interested in some more of my writing. (:_

_Also, I'm on ADF. I post there at least once a Friday and I leave teasers for TBL every Monday, too. Just so you know!_

_Mare._


	4. Chapter 4

_One Week Later_

So, turns out I was a hell'a good procrastinator. I kept putting off telling Charlie and Sue about the whole pregnancy dealio. Most of the time, procrastination was due to laziness on my behalf. This time it was pure fear. My dad owned a shotgun, for Christ's sake.

Somehow, I managed to avoid meeting up with Dad or Sue. As in, I avoided them like the plague. As soon as they walked in the house, I scurried to my room. I purposely waited until I heard both of their vehicles drive away before getting up and showering in the morning. I was freakin' pro at procrastinating.

Edward decided to guilt me into doing it though. He was all, "Dude, I already told my parents, and my dad's the _mayor._" Except he didn't say it like that 'cause his diction is classier than that.

Even though we were having a kid together, we still managed to keep our social statuses. Edward glanced at me in the hallway every now and then, but I tended to avoid that gaze. I think I was a little too obvious about it though. Rosalie asked me what my problem was every time we met Edward's posse in the hallway. Usually these meetings ended with me running into a wall or another human, neither ending well for me.

Finally, Edward pulled me aside before lunch.

"Bella, have you told them yet?"

I tried to play stupid. "Told who what?"

He rolled his eyes. "Your parents that you're pregnant."

"Oh, that," I murmured with a nod. "Yeah, nope, no I didn't. Did you?"

"Yes." He ran his hand through his hair, looking completely frustrated with me. "Can you please hurry up? You're already two months along. Surely your parents noticed something was wrong. Weren't you throwing up a lot?"

"I just thought it was a prolonged hangover," I mumbled with a shrug. Seriously, I thought I had been hungover for the month after that party. I had never really drunk anything until that night. How in the hell would I know hangover's were only meant to last one to two days?

"Tell them," he commanded me, looking me directly in the eyes. God, I hated it when he did that. It was like he knew that that was my weakness. "Tonight."

"Not well," he answered, exhaling a rough breath. "My dad was his usual temperamental self. He freaked, but I was expecting that. Mom was a bit more understanding. She was happy to hear that we were giving it up for adoption." He smiled. "She puts way too much faith in me."

"I'm scared," I admitted, biting my lip.

"Don't be scared," he replied. "Trust me, they'll be mad for a while, but they'll help you after they get over their initial shock. It'll work out, Bella."

"You don't know my dad," I disagreed with a shake of my head. "He's held grudges against people for way longer than nine months. He's still ticked at my Uncle Joe for hitting his old truck, and that was fifteen years ago."

"You'll be fine," he assured me. "Just do it, okay? For me?"

I gave him a half-smile. "I'll try."

So, after school, I trekked up to my house and planned out an immaculate speech to give to Dad and Sue about this was actually a good thing for a few reasons, like the amount of responsibility it would give me, how it would teach me to be more responsible in the future and how I would be giving some lucky couple the gift of life.

I blanked once I sat them both down on the couch in the living room.

"What's going on Bells?" Dad automatically asked, totally suspicious.

I was pacing up a storm. There had to be a bald spot in our carpet after I was done there.

"Is she on her behavioural meds again?" Sue whispered. She was so stupid sometimes. I could hear her and she knew it.

"No, I'm not on my meds anymore, you know that," I snapped.

"What's wrong then, Bells?" Dad asked.

I looked at the two main authority figures in my life, trying to figure out what their reactions would be. And then I did what I do best. I rambled.

"Okay, I'm just gunna wing this shit," I mumbled, prepping myself. "First of all, could you please not pull a gun on me? Like, it'd be super cool if I survived this."

"Are you on illegal drugs? Did you get expelled from school?" Dad was just firing questions like a cannon. I almost told him to shut his big ol' trap, but I didn't think that'd go over well.

"No, Dad, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't talk to you about either of those things." I paused, looking at them again. "I'm pregnant."

The silence was so overwhelming I thought I was going to throw up. Okay, maybe that was just because I chugged a Big Gulp on the way home, but I could always blame that on the baby and the tension.

"Pregnant?" Sue repeated.

"Yeah, pregnant," I muttered.

"I can't believe this." My dad's face was literally purple. I was scared for his health.

"Jesus, Charlie, settle down," Sue sighed, rolling her eyes. Go Sue.

"I just – I just can't believe this!" he exclaimed. He looked wild. Completely and totally uncontrollable. I only hoped he would remember my one request. "I thought you were better than this, Bells. I didn't even know you did...that."

My lips remained glued together. My dad didn't need to know the hairy details of my sexual life. That was one conversation I'd rather never, ever have.

He shook his head. "What're we gunna do?"

"Well, I'm giving it up for adoption," I told them. "Almost went the other road, but the father didn't really agree with all that, so..."

"Who _is_ the father?" Sue asked. "Is it that Newton kid?"

"No! Why does everyone assume that?" I scowled and shook my head. I wouldn't touch Newton with a ten-foot pole. "It's Edward Masen."

Dad turned purple again.

"The mayor's son?" Sue asked. She looked completely baffled.

"No, Edward Masen, a plumber from Seattle," I replied sarcastically. "Yes, that Edward Masen, Sue."

"How in the world did that happen?" Sue asked, still shocked.

"I'd rather not discuss that with you, Sue."

She nodded. "Well, okay, then. We'd better get you on some vitamins. Have you seen a doctor yet? We'd better get in touch with the adoptive agency, too." Sue got a calculating look on her face.

"Well, I'll just peace for now, I think," I told my dad, whom was still an odd shade of red. "I won't be late, I'm just gunna let Edward know that my father didn't shoot me right between the eyes."

They didn't answer. Sue kept blabbing on about different pregnancy stuff that I'd have to do and Dad stared at a spot on the floor, probably trying to figure out where he'd gone wrong as a parent.

The ride to the Masen mansion was actually pretty short. They lived less than five miles away from my house on a little acreage. Luckily, my nerves had been completely shot from my little speech, so I could care less about meeting the grandparents of the little sea monkey in my stomach.

I knocked on the door and rocked back on my heels with my hands behind my back. Mrs. Masen opened the door. She was still in her nursing outfit.

"Oh, hello." She had a warm, maternal smile. I liked her already.

"Hey there, Mrs. M. Is Edward home by any chance?"

"Yes, he is. He's just in his room," she told me, opening the door wider to let me in. "I'm sorry, I just don't recognize you."

"Oh, I'm Bella Swan," I replied before heading up the stairs. Mrs. Masen didn't say anything after that.

I opened random doors until I happened to open the one that contained Edward and a bed.

"Well hey there, Miss Money Pussy, wanna jump on my jetpack?" I greeted as I entered his room.

"Hey, Bella," he answered tiredly. "What're you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd let you know that I told my dad and Sue, and that I managed to survive the ordeal," I replied. "And I needed to get away from them both. My dad looked like he was gunna pass out and Sue was talking about vitamins and elastic waist band pants."

"My mom just let you in?" he asked. He seemed surprised.

"Uh, yeah," I murmured. "I thought you said she was cool?"

"Well, she _will_ be cool," Edward reworded. "She's still a little...wary of the entire thing."

"So, maybe she didn't let me in. I was already coming upstairs when I told her what my name was," I explained.

"Oh."

"So, what're you up to, anyway?" I asked, looking at the sheet of paper partially covered by Edward's arm.

"Just writing some stuff down," he mumbled looking away from me.

That made me want to know even more, so I pulled the sheet from under his arm. It was a music sheet with notes and shit.

"You write music?" I asked. "That is incredibly cool, Edward. I didn't know you were into this kind of stuff."

"Nobody really knows," he admitted. "It's something I keep to myself."

"Why? Chicks eat this shit up."

"Not girls in Forks," he replied, pulling the sheet out of my hands.

"Well, I'm a girl and I live in Forks." I laid down on his bed right beside him. "Don't I count?"

"Yeah, but you're not like the other girls." He grinned.

I rolled my eyes. "Nah, the other girls aren't like me."

"So you're the normal one?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "Got anything for a pregnant girl to eat? I decided that I'm liking this whole craving thing. Pickles and chocolate chips never mixed together before, but now they're delicious."

"You're so weird," he chuckled.

"What's new?"

* * *

_Yay for an early chapter! I'm going to be...occupied (hungover) tomorrow, so I thought it'd be good to go sooner rather than later._

_There'll be a teaser on A Different Forest on Monday, so go check it out!_

_Do you have a question about TBL, or me? Here's how you can reach me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_Also, I'm considering putting on a contest. It's called iWrite, and if you want deets, PM or e-mail me! I need at least __**two**__ people to help me put it on._

_Thanks as always!  
Mary_


	5. Chapter 5

Edward had given me his cell phone number, just so I could keep him updated, since we weren't really meant to be seen together at school. I was totally down with this. I didn't want him to be slummin' it 'cause of me.

I ended up spending over an hour at Edward's, just messing around. Mostly, I rambled and he listened. I tended to do that a lot around people I didn't know very well. I told him about Leah, my older, stepsister, whom I barely knew. She was already twenty-seven and had three kids. I told him about Seth and his shenanigans. I told him about Jake, and how much I hated that I loved him. I was more of a cat person honestly, but the little pup grew on me. What can I say? I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Edward told me about Katie and how she was just like a real younger sister. I listened in awe as he described his love for her. He was just about to tell me about his parents when I got a phone call. My dad had finally come to his senses.

"Bella, if you don't get your ass home right now, I swear to God, I won't let you out of this house until you're forty," he growled.

"Oky doky, Pops," I replied as nonchalantly as I could before hanging up. "I gotta peace. Otherwise I'll be grounded until I'm forty, and that won't help my flourishing social life very much. Check ya later, Edward."

"See you tomorrow, Bella."

And I was off. It was the most normal thing I'd ever done in my life. I had simply sat down and talked to someone. Okay, it wasn't completely normal, seeing as the person I happened to be talking to was also the father of my child, but still normal enough.

I texted Edward that night because I was out of my mind bored. Maybe he could keep me occupied until the baby knocked me out. It was funny how that worked. Usually, I was a night owl, but because of the forming being in my body, I conked out at ten. It was wicked. I hadn't ever gotten this much sleep since I turned twelve.

"Hey, it's bella. I'm f-word bored. Occupy me," I texted him.

"I dunno how i'll do that," he replied automatically. Looks like someone else was bored out of their tree.

"Just tell me something that i don't already know about u."

"So, everything then?" Smart ass. "Do u want to play twenty questions?"

"Sure thang, american pie."

"Okay, i'll start. When's ur bday?"

"Sept 13 92. Urs?"

"June 25 92. Ha, i'm 4 months older than u."

"Psh, i'm like 8 years more mature than u. Chicks mature faster."

"I doubt it would be 8 years difference."

"Edward, meet my friend, hyperbole. Hyperbole, edward."

"Oh shut up, hah."

"Y so serious, Edward?"

"R u srsly asking me that, ha?"

"Yes, now answer my question."

"I dunno. I guess it's the ppl i hang out with. They don't allow for immaturity."

Our conversation continued until way past my usual bedtime. Finally, I cut off the blabber mouth. It was freakin' ten-thirty, alright? I was tired.

"Dude, i gotta pce. I'm so tired i can't even feel my legs. Cya 2morrow."

"Bye, bella."

The next day at school was slightly less tense. I wasn't getting pulled aside by the cafeteria or getting awkward glances in the hallway. I was still getting glances, but Edward's eyes were happy, not terrified. I wondered what would happen when my stomach decided to explode. Would he still smile at me in the hallway then? Well, I guess I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

Rosalie and I sat at our usual spot in the cafeteria. It was right beside the window so I could occupy myself for the whole hour without going insane. Technically, I had a mild case of ADD, but who likes the term "attention-deficit disorder?" The word disorder just makes it seem bad, which it totally wasn't. Sure, some mundane people were easily annoyed by us cool ADD kids, but I loved it. You could see how this speck on the table connected to the leaf falling off the tree outside and how it made no sense to realize that the leaf was connected to the clock, but just trying to make the two compare was awfully fun.

This was my life in a nutshell. Well, actually, this would be my life in a nutshell: "Ah! Help, I'm in a nutshell! How did I get in this nutshell?"

"Dude, can you tell I'm pregnant yet?" I asked Rose, lifting up my shirt to reveal my slight baby bump. At least I thought it was a baby bump. What if I was just getting fat before the baby got bigger? That would blow.

"Barely, Baby Bell," she assured me. "It's a slight curvature, no biggie. People will just think you're gaining weight until you get your own gravitational force."

"Thanks, I think," I mumbled, smoothing the skin on my stomach. I pulled my shirt back down and began chowing down on my Caesar salad. Sue was a total bitch and had me on an eating plan. "Awe, Jesus Christ, I have to pee again. Watch my tray, Rose."

"Yeah, whatevs." She was ogling Jasper Whitlock, who was currently dating Alice Brandon. Rosalie had no shame, which was totally kick ass.

Thankfully there were no line-ups at the stalls. Thank you, Lord. I would have peed my pants otherwise. Not cool, not cool at all.

I was washing my hands when the queen bee herself bestowed herself in my presence. I chose to keep my head down and my snickers to myself. Fashion trends were way over my head and I honestly didn't understand why a girl would think she looked good in the get ups that Alice Brandon wore. Seriously, whoever came up with the whole dramatic pink eye shadow idea must have been on acid. All it did was make your eyes look messed up.

Her little foot was tapping and her arms were crossed. She looked me up and down scornfully and smacked her gum. If it would have been anyone but her, I would have told her to stop chewing like a cow, but, even though this girl was tiny, I was intimidated by her. She had monster claws, the kind that could easily rip my eyeballs out of my sockets.

"So you're the girl that Edward humped at Homecoming, huh?" she began.

All I could do was nod and swallow.

"You're not much of a looker," she sighed. "But if you dressed right, shit, girl. You'd be one hot number. I'm totes jeal of your figure. How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked, completely confused.

"Keep yourself looking so slim," she explained.

"Oh, um, I don't know? I was gifted with an extremely fast metabolism, I guess," I mumbled.

"Jesus, I should hate you for that," she murmured, still looking at my body. "But, if I could just dress you for, like, one day, I know I could make a good looking woman out of you. Then everyone would be wondering why they didn't get with you at Homecoming."

"I think I'm cool with the way I dress now," I said quietly, looking at the tiles below my Converse shoes.

"Well, once you and Edward are together, you'll have no choice," she replied cheerily. "I'll be talking to you soon, Swan." Then she left the bathroom, leaving my jaw on the floor.

What the hell? When Edward and I were _together_? Where did this girl get off?

I stormed out of the bathroom, blushing at the thought of being with Edward. That stupid pixie put the idea in my head and now I couldn't shake it. I tried thinking about everything, but all the thoughts in my head somehow came back to Edward. Edward's hands, Edward's hair, Edward's stupid crooked smile, Edward's clothes, Edward's body, Edward's perfect teeth, Edward's lack of imagination... Everything was about Edward. What I didn't know about him, I made up. Suddenly he was movie-crazed, just like me, and he was into Switchfoot and laughing at superstitions. And, fuck me, was it ever great. My imagination liked to take me places that I knew I'd never visit, but I wanted this too badly to just give up. I would dream about this, I knew I would.

Thanks, Alice Brandon. Thanks a lot.

By the time I got back to my table, Rose was gone, talking to Jasper Whitlock. God, she was such a flirt. I shoved a bunch of salad into my mouth and chewed furiously, still pissed. I don't know exactly why I was mad about this stuff, but apparently I was really cheesed off. Hormones did that kind of stuff to pregnant girls.

Then of course people had to stare at me while I was in my frenzy, and then Mike Newton had to come and sit beside me and try to talk to me about mindless shit that I really didn't care about.

Finally, I snapped, "Mike, screw off for, like, twenty minutes, alright? I just wanna eat in silence."

He turned bright red and got up from my table, mumbling something of an apology. Then I felt guilty and set my fork down and shoved my fingers into my tangled hair and breathed deeply, trying to calm down a bit.

Then my phone buzzed in my pocket. I scowled as I opened it. Who would be texting me at school?

"What's wrong?" It was from Edward.

"Nothing, just hormonal, i hope."

"Oh. Hey, do u wanna b partners for the bio project? We can spend more time together."

What? Why did he want to spend more time with me?

Calm your shit, Bella. He's just trying to be helpful. You could use a lot of help, seeing as you're a social misfit.

Great, now I was talking to myself.

"Sure."

"Cool. :)"

I closed my phone and let my head fall on the table, my hair probably soaking itself in the pea soup I was going to eat. Fuck if I cared. Apparently Alice Brandon would be helping me out with all that shit later.

The bell rang soon after my mental breakdown. I left my tray on the table along with a ten dollar bill. That should pay for the expenses of my mess. I pulled the globs of pea soup of my hair and shuffled through the hordes of people currently in the hallway. Pretty soon everyone would be avoiding me. Then I'd even get my own pathway. That'd be sick. I wouldn't have to get shoved into lockers anymore.

"How did the chat with Jasper go?" I asked Rose when I finally made it to our lockers.

"Fine," she sighed. "He's just stuck on Alice. He'll come around eventually. She'll drop him sooner or later. That girl hasn't had the same man for more than a few weeks."

"She cornered me in the bathroom," I admitted. "But, in the non-bullying way. I think she told me I could be pretty if I wanted to, and that when I ended up with Edward, she'd help me with that." I scowled. "She's a loony."

"Oh." Rose's eyes were really bright. "I've heard that she's kind of psychic. Her grandma owns that shop on Main Street with all the witchy shit in it. She told you that you'd end with Edward? It'll probably happen, dude. You lucky biatch. Edward is hot."

My cheeks were burning. "Shut up, Rose."

"Fine, fine, I'll stop," she murmured. "I'll talk to you after school, aight?"

"Okay," I replied.

Biology went well. Edward and I were partners, much to Mike's dismay. I'd been stuck with him for the past three years. It was a nice change of pace. Mike usually just ended up doing all the work for me, which was wicked. But the boy was just so...annoying. I couldn't stand him.

"What class do you have next?" Edward asked me. We were the only ones in the computer lab. We had "research" to do. Edward was looking at cars and I was looking at newly released music.

"Gym, but I think I'm gunna skip," I replied. "What do you have?"

"English."

"Brutal," I murmured, writing another song on my arm. My modem was going to get a workout tonight.

"What're you going to do if you skip?"

"Um, I don't know. It varies depending on my mood. I used to go get high before going to work at Newton's, because in all reality, I needed to be high to work with Mike, but I quit working the other day. Sue made me." Edward gave me a serious look. "Oh, dude, of course I quit getting high. I'm not totally retarded." He relaxed automatically. "I'll probably just drive home and pig out on ice cream and dill pickles or something."

"Mind if I join you?"

I blinked at Edward. "Are you serious? You'd be willing to skip?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, why not? It's not like I haven't skipped before."

I snorted. "Yeah, for like dentist appointments and shit."

Edward's ears turned red.

"Fine, you can come, but you can't cramp my style," I replied. "And we're watching Disney movies, whether you like it or not. Seth only had a half day today, so we gotta keep it PG."

He smiled. "What's your favourite Disney movie? I've been watching them with Katie for the past eight years. I have to admit that _The Little Mermaid_'s grown on me."

"Psh, you only like it because Ariel has red hair," I said with a snort. "I mean, only dorky people have red hair."

Edward looked appalled.

"Um, sorry?" I squeaked. I hadn't really meant to offend him, it was just a joke.

He chuckled and then I knew he was just fooling around with me. I let out a relieved laugh and pushed him lightly.

"You're just jealous," he replied. "Red heads are unique. You blend in with your mediocre brown hair."

"I can stick out like a sore thumb _without_ weird coloured hair, thank you," I answered, turning back to my computer screen. "What colour is your hair anyway? Bronze?"

Edward shrugged. "I guess it'd be auburn to most people."

"I like bronze better," I decided.

He smiled. "Bronze it is, then."

After the class was done, we snuck away to our vehicles and headed to my place. I sent Emily Uley, our babysitter, home and then I made popcorn for Seth, Edward, and I before popping in _Robin Hood_, Seth's favourite.

Edward left right after the movie. He had football practice or something.

"Who was that guy?" Seth asked after the door closed.

"Edward Masen, a guy in my class," I replied, popping some more popcorn in my mouth.

"Why was he here? I've never seen him before." Seth scowled.

"Why're you asking so many questions, monkey?" I asked. "Just calm your jets, okay? He's just a friend."

"Sure," he said with a roll of his eyes.

I pushed him with a laugh and he pushed me back, trying not to smile. Then I had to race like a piss horse again. It was going to be a long six months.

_A) I'm drunk_

_B) It's technically Sunday right now_

_C) I have a history essay on Canada's involvement in WWI due on Wednesday_

_D) I have this graduation shit to deal with at fucking ten in the morning_

_E) I'm drunk_

_F) I think... I want to keep partying. Unfortunately, I'm sitting at home, posting fanfiction, like a total dork instead. _

_H) I'll need some reviews to distract me from my essay._

_I) Thank you for all your support. For real. It means the world to me that you like my shenangians._

_J) Did I mention that I'm drunk? And lonely? And tired? And nice-smelling because I just finished showering?_

_Love,  
Mary_


	6. Chapter 6

_Three Weeks Later_

Life went on. Life. Went. On. I couldn't believe it. I think I was the only one that noticed that I was gaining weight. Rose said that she could tell my "funbags" were getting bigger, but Rose always said that. Lies, all lies.

Edward was super duper cool. He started hanging out with me at school more often. He sat with me at lunch one day, but we worked on our Bio project, which was cool. It needed to get done.

Other than that, though, everything was normal. I hung out with Rose or by myself most of the time. I took my vitamins and weighed myself every day. I started phoning adoption agencies. Life was good.

Then Alice Brandon started being nice to me. That's when things got weird. I wasn't meant to be socially accepted. It was, like, against the rules of high school.

It started out slowly. She'd say hi to me in the hallway or ask me questions during class about random shit, like what I was doing on the weekend and all that junk. It was like we were..._friends._

Finally, after a week of being weird around me, she invited me, _me, _to sit with her, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward during lunch. I was completely flabbergasted.

"Can Rose sit with us, too?" I blurted. I needed a partner in uncharted territory. The buddy system was genius.

"Sure," she replied with a smile. "Then we won't get any losers trying to sit with us today. Our table will be legitly full!"

I snickered. She looked at me curiously.

"It's just that I'm kind of the biggest loser in school," I explained. "And you're saying I'll keep the losers away." She looked confused. The irony of the situation was lost on her. How unfortunate.

Alice chatted away as we walked into the cafeteria together. I waved Rose over and quickly explained the situation. She was cool with it, but let me do all the talking, the whore. We grabbed our lunches and then we walked to the table. It felt like everything was in slow motion, like on _Mean Girls_. People literally stopped chewing their food to watch me walk by. People walked into chairs and tables and spilt their trays. People stared at me.

"Hey, guys," Alice greeted. All the boys were already chowing down their meals. "I asked Bella and Rose to sit with us today."

Emmett winked at Rose immediately. I rolled my eyes when Rose smiled at him. Well, at least one good thing would come out of this. Jasper, however, looked completely disgusted. Edward gave me a small smile and avoided looking at me. I sighed as I sat down.

"Hey, dickweeds," I greeted in a mumble, opening up my sub to pick all the onions off.

"Hey," Emmett replied with a grin. "I think I like you. Can we keep her Alice?"

I snorted as Alice replied, "I guess that's up to Edward."

Edward's head snapped up. He looked shocked. "Why's it up to me?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "You know why it's up to you. I don't know why you think I don't know these things, Edward. So, is she in or out?"

Edward looked back down at his tray before mumbling, "In."

Alice grinned triumphantly and squeezed my shoulder. "This is Edward giving me permission to give you a makeover, Bella. I hope you're not doing anything after school. I've got big plans for you. Do you want to join, Rosalie?"

"Sure thang, Mustang," she replied gleefully. "I've never had the guts to toy with Bella's look. She's got charisma coming out the yazoo, so I thought I'd let her be. She's authentic and what-not."

Alice nodded. "You've got a point, Rose. Maybe I'll wait, hmm, six or so months."

My mouth hung open. Did she know? How'd she know? Why'd she say six? Alice raised an eyebrow at Edward who was ducking away from her stare. Oh, for the love of God, he was going to lose it. He would be forever damned to the lowest rung on the social ladder because of me. Fuck my life.

"That seems like a long time, Alice," Rose said with a scowl. She didn't get the math. "Why not do it right now? Just mess with her a bit, make her look a little prettier. Don't leave the poor girl hanging like that."

Alice had an evil smile on her lips as she looked me over. "Barbie Bella. I like it. You're going to be my new favourite toy, I think, Bella."

"How lovely," I murmured before taking a bite of my sub. "Can it wait 'til tomorrow though? I've got, um, an appointment."

"Oh, what for, Bella?" Alice asked innocently.

"You know, the usual annual check-up," I replied. "Gotta make sure everything's going good."

"Maybe I could take you there," Alice said.

"No, my stepmom's taking me," I answered quickly. "It's our only bonding time."

"Okay, but tomorrow you'd better make sure your schedule's clear," Alice told me. "Rosalie and I are going to make you look like a star."

I nodded meekly and continued eating my sub.

"Don't torture the poor thing," Emmett said, winking at me. "I want her to stick around for a while."

"She'll be around," Alice replied nonchalantly. She looked at Jasper. "What's up your ass?"

He shook his head, getting that sour look off his face. "Nothing's wrong."

"Why the hell did you look like you'd just seen something completely horrifying then?"

"It's nothing," he promised.

"Fucking better be."

I smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be half-bad. Maybe I'd be okay. If Alice would just get off my back, this would be alright.

Conversation flowed freely between Rose, Emmett, and Alice. The rest of us kept to ourselves. I was afraid I would slip up and say something about my pregnancy, Jasper obviously didn't like the fact I was sitting with him, and Edward was just being himself. He liked talking to me, but only if no one else knew about. He liked being with me, but only if we were alone. And I understood that.

Edward and I walked towards the Bio lab together. Nobody even made a fuss about it.

"So, I'm getting another ultra-sound today," I told him. "Just so you know."

"Do you want me to come?" he asked.

"Meh, up to you," I replied with a shrug. "Doesn't matter to me, really. Dr. Cullen's like my uncle."

"Oh, okay." He thought about it for a second. "I think I'll come anyway."

"Right on."

Bio went by without anything interesting happening, as usual. Edward and I finished our work quickly and then filled the dreadfully awkward silence occasionally, mostly by my chattering. He was probably just nervous because Alice obviously knew what was going on. And that sucked for both of us. She could destroy Edward. I mean, what was a little more teasing for me? I already put up with a shitload of it every day, it wouldn't matter to me. But he would be devastated by the force of it all. He wouldn't be the same.

"I'm skipping to go to the doctor," I told Edward. "Don't come if you don't want to. I can handle myself."

"I'm coming," he replied smoothly. "And I'm driving, too."

"What am I going to do with my truck?"

"We'll get it later." The way he said it told me it was time to shut up, whether it was conscious or not.

After the bell rang, Edward immediately left the room, not bothering to wait for me. I sighed as I walked into the parking lot alone; trying to remember what car he drove. Luckily, he was waiting at the front doors for me. I would have never remembered that he drove a Volvo. The only vehicles I knew of were Chevy's and that's because I drove one.

"Wow, Masen, you look pretty snazzy in that car," I complimented as I closed the door and put on my seatbelt.

"Thanks."

The rest of the ride was silent. No music, no talking, nothing. It was the most awkward time of my life and that was saying something.

"What time's your appointment?" he asked as we parked the car.

"Two-thirty," I answered quietly. He was making me feel awful, and I didn't know why.

"Okay, I'm going to talk to my mom quickly while you wait. Make sure you don't leave me behind, though."

"Sure," I murmured, walking into the hospital a few steps in front of him.

I waited by myself. I was used to being alone, but I'd never actually felt this alone in my life. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. It felt like this was entirely my fault. It felt like nothing in the world could make my life any worse than it was right now.

"Bella?" Dr. Cullen called when it was my turn. "You ready?"

"Yeah, but I'm supposed to wait for Edward," I answered with a sigh.

"What's the matter?" he asked, sitting down beside me with a concerned look on his face.

"Well, a girl at school, the most popular girl at school, knows about this whole thing," I explained. "Edward isn't ready for people to know, I don't think. He probably won't ever be ready for people to know."

"What does that mean?" Dr. Cullen didn't know that I was the weird girl.

"I'm not the most popular crayon in the box," I mumbled, looking at my lap. "I'd be like that gross green that everyone's tempted to discard."

"Oh, Bella, I'm sure it's not that bad," Dr. Cullen disagreed.

I shrugged. "There are two people that talk to me like I'm a person, Rose and Mike Newton. And I only like one of the two of them. Edward was being nice to me, but now..."

"Bella, there are some things in life that you shouldn't dwell on," Dr. Cullen said, pulling my chin up so I'd look him in the eyes. "High school is one of them. It can go one of two ways: heaven or hell. Most of the time its hell, even if you're the popular one. Small towns aren't made for unique people, trust me. I grew up in small town Montana, and I hated every second of it. I was a loser in high school, but look at me now. I'm flourishing in the real world. The people who excel in high school usually end up reliving the glory days through their children. The people like us are the people that go places. You'll end up at some big college out east and I'll hardly ever hear from you." He smiled. "Don't worry about it, my girl. You'll live, trust me."

I wiped the almost-tears away from my eyes. "Thanks, Dr. C."

"You're welcome, Bella."

Then Edward strolled onto the scene. I quickly sniffled and wiped my cheeks on my sleeve before smiling weakly at him. He scowled at me and then looked up at Dr. Cullen. Dr. Cullen was giving him a cold look.

"Are you finally ready, Mr. Masen?" he asked coolly.

"Yeah, sorry about that," he mumbled. "I needed to talk to my mom."

Dr. Cullen led us into his office. He quickly checked me out. He didn't force Edward to watch this time, thank God.

"Everything's coming along nicely, Bella," he murmured. "Keep doing what Sue's been telling you to." He chuckled at my grimace. "I know you hate it, Charlie's been ranting about it, but she's right. The baby will be healthy if you keep this up."

"Oh, yeah, Sue wanted me to ask you about adoption agencies," I said. "Do you know of any good ones? We've been phoning around and we haven't had much luck."

Dr. Cullen froze. "You're giving the baby up for adoption?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I – we – decided that we weren't old enough or close enough to take care of a baby by ourselves."

Dr. Cullen gulped.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked accusingly. "Is there something wrong with adoption?"

"No," he croaked. "It's not that, it's just that..."

"What?" I demanded. "Spit it out already."

"Esme and I were looking for a baby to adopt."

* * *

_Posting a day early 'cause I'm going house shopping all day tomorrow. Ugh. Kill me, please. Speaking of killing me, I wouldn't mind a bullet in my throbbing skull right now. I've got a hangover from hell and I'd like nothing more than to curl up in a ball and die._

_FYI, I'm a cliffy whore. Seriously. I'm such a sucker for leaving you guys hanging. It's my favourite thrill in the fandom world._

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_I decided I'm gunna start recc'ing stuff because I read a lot. So, for this week, check out _Midnight Son of a Bitch _by greeengoldish. She's on and ADF, and it's so funny, you guys. So funny. (I read a lot of romantic comedies. And I think I write them, too. Do I? IDK.)_

_Mary_


	7. Chapter 7

"_Esme and I were looking for a baby to adopt."_

The tiny room was silent for a second before I sucked in my breath and held it. How incredible would it be if the Cullens took our baby? He or she would be around me all the time. It wouldn't even feel like I'd be losing my child. I would just have to learn how to consider it as a cousin instead of my kid.

"Are you serious?" I asked finally.

Dr. Cullen nodded vicariously, looking extremely happy. "We have our own lawyer and everything. We've been waiting and waiting, but so many people get cold feet. Esme's been devastated so many times."

"Shit, son!" I exclaimed. "There's no way in hell we're getting cold feet. When can we finalize this? Can we do it tonight? Charlie would probably stop turning purple every time he saw me if we got this done up."

"Yeah, yeah, sure." I'd never seen Dr. Cullen so excited. He pulled out his cell phone, his smile huge. "Esme? Can you get Mr. Mallory to come to the house tonight?" He paused, nodding and grinning. I could hear Esme's joyful response through the phone. "Yeah, I'll be sure to do that. I love you. See you tonight." He snapped his phone shut, smiling at me. "Esme wanted to thank you, Bella. I'm sure she'll be all over you tonight when you come over."

"Should I come, too?" Edward interrupted.

Our happy moment was shut down. Damn you, Edward. I was having a freakin' moment with my main man, Doc' C.

"Oh, um, yes, I suppose you should," Dr. Cullen murmured, clearing his throat. "Your presence isn't required, however. If you have football or a date with your girlfriend or something, we'll understand." He looked at me with a small smile.

Edward scowled. "No, I don't have football practice tonight, and I don't have a girlfriend. I'm coming." He crossed his arms, taking a challenging stance against Dr. Cullen. "You don't think I'm responsible enough to deal with this?"

"Is that why you're scared of what your peers will think when they find out that you're the one who impregnated Bella?" Dr. Cullen retorted. He stood up to his full height, giving Edward an icy glare. This is gunna be a shit show. I couldn't wait to tell Rose about it.

Edward blushed, looking away, thrown off his game.

"That's what I thought," Dr. Cullen replied coolly. "So, no, your presence isn't required unless you're finally ready to be an adult about this."

Edward stared stonily at him, but didn't disagree.

I cleared my throat. "Well, I guess Charlie and I'll come over after supper, if that's okay."

"Yeah, that's perfect," Dr. Cullen replied, breaking his staring contest with Edward to look at me with a warm smile, like nothing happened. "Sue and Seth won't want to come?"

"Seth's got hockey practice tonight," I explained. "And he still doesn't really understand what's going on. We talk about it in front of him, but he doesn't get it yet. I think Sue wants to keep it that way."

Dr. Cullen nodded. "Okay, well, I'll see you at around seven, then." He smiled. "I can't wait to see the ultra-sound."

I hopped off the table. "Me either. This thing must have gotten bigger. I can already see the little baby bump." I lifted my shirt up and turned to the side. "Can you see it?"

Edward and Dr. Cullen both peered at my stomach. It was pretty flat, and maybe it was only me, but there was a bit of a curve going on there. Rose even admitted that I looked slightly less prairie and more slight inclination and she didn't notice stuff like that often.

"Yes, I think there's a bit of a difference from your last check-up," Dr. Cullen murmured. "Would you like to be weighed?"

"Why not?" I replied, stepping onto the scale, looking directly in front of me.

Dr. Cullen adjusted everything and then scribbled the weight down quickly. "Yes, you're coming along perfectly, Bella. Wonderful, wonderful."

I smiled and jumped off the scale. "Shall I head to Mrs. Stanley by myself, Edward? I'd prefer not to get dirty looks this time, and I'm sure you don't really like being hit on by a forty-five-year old gossip."

Edward rubbed the back of his neck. "No, I think I want to come to this one. I mean, you've got a little baby bump. It might be...cool," he finished lamely. He was trying to talk himself up in Dr. C. I almost snorted.

"Whatever floats your boat, I guess," I replied. "Let's blow this popsicle stand. Check ya later, Dr. C."

"Bye, Bella."

We walked down the fairly empty hallway slowly. Edward was clearly upset over the whole eye opener that Dr. C. laid on him. Wasn't my fault, but he'd probably still find a way to get mad at me, just like he did when Alice somehow found out. Whatever, I could handle myself. I wasn't a baby.

"You okay?" I finally asked as I slapped my thighs to further break the silence.

"Yes," he sighed. "No, no I'm not okay. Maybe... I don't know."

"Cool beans," I replied before popping my lips as I slapped my thighs.

"Bella, I'm being incredibly unfair," he finally admitted after another few pops from my lips. "Dr. Cullen's right. I'm not being responsible. I'm not acting like I should." He exhaled loudly, closing his eyes and hanging his head in shame. "I'm sorry."

"Dude, it's, like, whatever," I answered, although I wasn't answering anything at all.

"No, it's not 'whatever,'" Edward mumbled. "I'm too young for this. People think I'm growing up and then this kind of shit gets laid on me, and I'm lost."

"How do you think I feel about all of this?" I asked him. "I'm the one that has to wear the shame under my shirt."

Edward blanched at my choice of words. Fuck him. As if he was allowed to be ashamed and I wasn't. I raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to question me. He didn't.

"I'm the one that's going to suffer the ridicule," I continued. "I told you that I wouldn't tell anyone it was you. I could have lied. I could have saved your precious social status and you could have kept living your charmed life. I can handle it. I'm not made of fine china. My life hasn't been easy. Something like this was bound to happen. I was made for crises. I'm a disaster without being pregnant." I looked at him, angry tears trapezing on my lashes. "And you're perfect," I finished sarcastically.

Edward stared at me, jaw hanging open, completely shocked.

I wiped my tears away with a weak laugh. "Stupid hormones." They were the explanation for everything now it seemed. I wondered if that was actually true or whether pregnant women were seriously so stressed out about the fact that they would be pushing something out of their vag that they just made up excuses for their outbursts.

I kept walking even though Edward had stopped. My stomach was throbbing, but not from the baby. I was walking away from a boy that actually meant something to me, and it hurt a little bit. I could feel a fire burning in my belly. Not a pleasant flame that got me hot and bothered, but a forest fire that refused to be quenched. It was killing me to know that he could just walk away from this unscathed.

My life had been made up of imaginations that keep me going. Edward was one of them. I could dream, too. I just usually knew that these dreams wouldn't come true. I knew this would happen. How could have I been so stupid? How could I let my heart get into my head? My heart's a bitch. She plays with my brain like a chew toy, ripping it to shreds.

"Bella, wait." My feet stopped on their own accord. If I'd had it my way, I would have kept walking. I would have walked into that ultra-sound room and slammed the fucking door, hoping that the sound would vibrate in Edward's eardrums for weeks. Then I would have told Mrs. Stanley to shut her cocksucker and give me a damn ultra-sound.

But I didn't. It was my stupid, undeniable heart again.

Edward walked up behind me. I couldn't even bring myself to turn around to face him anymore. The recklessness that I usually portrayed was lost in the tide of overbearing emotions that Edward induced. His fingers brushed my arm and he sighed before moving in front of me. I tried to keep my eyes locked on the floor, but Edward's free hand pulled my chin away from my throat, forcing me to look at him. He looked...intense, pained, ecstatic. Too many emotions at once. Too many contradicting emotions in one square foot.

"Bella, I'm so far from perfect, it's painful," he murmured, his minty fresh breath fanning across my face. "And I keep on proving myself right." He laughed, looking up the ceiling, probably damning God for all of this. "I had no right," he mumbled, looking down at our linked hands. "No right at all."

"No right to what?" I asked quietly.

"Bella, I've had..." He shook his head. "What word could I even use to describe this? A thing? A crush? I don't know. I've wanted you since the day I saw you, Bella."

I choked on my own breath. My eyes were wide and my stomach was bouncing around my body like a ping pong ball.

"What... What did you say?" I asked breathlessly. "I mean, what do you mean? I don't understand."

He chuckled, looking relieved that he was saying all of this to me. "I had an elementary school crush on you. I thought it would go away. I really did. I mean, who has a crush on the weird girl? No offence."

"None taken," I assured him.

"Every guy wants to get with you at least once before we graduate," he continued, his thumb rubbing the skin on the back of my hand. "And every time one of the guys says something about your body or your smile or how crazy they think you'd be in the sack, I literally see red. I can't control myself, Bella." He let out a shaky breath. "I only had two drinks on Homecoming night. I wasn't drunk at all." Edward shook his head, smiling grimly. "Seeing you in that dress was worth ten drinks to my body. I just...melted. I didn't recognize you, and I thought, _This is it. This is the girl that's going to get me over Bella Swan._" He laughed again. He seemed so amused and it was almost scaring me. "But it was you." He leaned closer, resting his forehead against mine. "It's always you."

"So?" I whispered. "I still don't get it. You're like all the other boys at school, except you managed to get in my pants. That doesn't mean anything to me. I knew that. I _know_ that." But, the difference between Edward and the rest of the guys was that he was decent. I think I was the only one that cared about that though.

Edward smiled, still leaning against me. He had such long eyelashes. "Bella, my feelings for you are very different from the other boys at school."

I scowled. "Is that good or bad?"

He kissed the crease between my eyebrows. "Good. Perfect. Amazing." He buried his nose in my hair. "Absolutely amazing." His arms circled around my shoulders, pulling me to his chest. My arms remained by my side and I didn't know what to do. My arms eventually looped around his torso loosely.

"I still don't understand," I mumbled into his chest. "How can you possibly feel this way about me? You don't even know me."

"Stop ruining the moment," Edward breathed. "Just enjoy."

Boy, did I ever enjoy the moment. I still couldn't fathom Edward's feelings for me. I didn't understand where this all was coming from. He didn't usually act like this. He was so reserved and serious all the time. Why the sudden outburst of emotion? Why the heart-to-heart now? Why not before? Why not after? Why _now_?

Edward kissed the top of my head and pulled away, grinning from ear to ear. "Shall we?" He offered me his arm.

"Sure," I replied with a smile.

Off we went to face the devil behind the ultra-sound screen, and to find out what the hell was going on between us.

* * *

_Um, so, yeah. Just, like, a huge plot twist in this chapter. I have no idea why it happened, it just did. I remember I was listening to _Possibility _by Lykke Li the whole time, so IDK. Might have had something to do with the little bit of angst in there._

_But, yay!, Edward has feelings for Bella!_

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest! (I forgot to tease this past Monday. Woops.)_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_The rec for this week is _For the Summer_ by camoozle. The chapters are always around ten thousand words long, and I still want more by the time I'm done reading. When this fic is complete, I'm most definitely re-reading it. It's that good._

_Mary_

_P.S. Is it possible to pull muscles in your tongue. 'Cause, holy mothertrucker, my tongue is hurting like whore. Like, I can't swallow or move my tongue. What the fuck am I supposed to do?_


	8. Chapter 8

The grin was still plastered on Edward's face while Mrs. Stanley was a complete bitch to me. She asked me if I gained much weight and whether I'd finally gotten charged for yet for my "indecent exposure" at the La Push Quileute Fair. Indecent exposure my ass. _Someone's_ daughter pulled down my sweats during the parade, and I wasn't wearing underwear. I hate underwear.

Edward defended me cheerfully, saying that I'd barely gained any weight, actually. He said that I was moving along perfectly. He said that Jessica pulled my pants down for me because he was pretty sure that she had a secret. That secret being her homosexuality, although he didn't say that part and the innuendo flew over Mrs. Stanley's head.

I think this is when my glow came into play. I could feel my skin stretching as I grinned incredibly widely. It hurt I was smiling so big. But it was the kind of pain you were willing to endure because you were just so damn happy.

"Well, things look just peachy," Mrs. Stanley announced as the baby appeared on the screen. It still looked like an alien, but it was starting to turn into a human. "By the looks of things, the baby will be healthy. Would you like a picture this time?"

"Yes," I replied. I opened my mouth to explain why, but Edward interrupted.

"Can we have two, please?" he asked. "I kind of want one for myself."

Mrs. Stanley gave him a tight-lipped smile. "That's doable. You can pick them up at the front desk. See you in a month." She turned on her heel and left the room.

It was just Edward and I again. I began wiping the jelly off of my stomach silently before Edward grabbed the tissue from my hand and doing it for me.

"I still don't understand," I said, breaking the surprisingly comfortable silence. "If you really liked me so much for all these years, why'd you wait? You could have talked to me."

Edward grimaced. "I'm not proud of all my decisions. I let the popularity get to my head. I thought someone better for my lifestyle would come around. I kept telling myself it was just a stupid crush."

"I wasn't that weird in elementary school, was I?" I asked, my nose scrunched up.

"No." Edward threw the tissue out and slowly pulled my shirt back down. He grinned before saying, "You were weirder."

I laughed before playfully pushing him. He chuckled lowly and tangled his fingers with mine, sighing happily.

"I never thought you were weird," Edward continued, looking at our intertwined hands. "But everyone else did – does." He grinned at me again. "Everyone in Forks is so cookie cutter. My 'friends' aren't really my friends. They're just people I spend time with. Emmett, Jasper, and Alice are different. All four of us have secrets that we keep from the general population, but share with each other. Emmett calls us the Elites" – Edward rolled his eyes – "because everyone wants to be a part of our little group."

"Well, aren't I lucky? Alice invited me to join the 'Elites,'" I said, smirking. "Whatever did I do to deserve such an honour?"

"Alice is interesting," Edward said slowly. "She...she thinks she can see the future. Her grandmother apparently has the same talent."

"Yeah, she cornered me in the bathroom one day and told me that you and I would end up together," I told him. "I thought she was crazy."

"She told you that?" Edward asked.

"Not in those words exactly, but she told me that she couldn't wait until you and I were together so that she could tell me how to dress properly."

"Huh." Edward looked surprised. "That's accurate."

"Scary," I murmured. I looked up at the clock on the wall. "Maybe we should leave. I still need to talk to Charlie about this adoption thing."

"Do you want me to come?"

I shook my head. "I think that Charlie and I need to do this alone. And I think Dr. Cullen won't be impressed if you walk into his house." I smirked.

"Yeah, what the hell was that?" Edward asked defensively.

"It was my fault," I admitted. "I told him that you weren't ready to admit that I was pregnant because of you." I shook my head. "When you freaked out because of Alice today, I thought that you were blaming me. Maybe you thought I was just using you to boost my social appeal. I don't know. People are always coming up with excuses for me."

"I wasn't blaming you," Edward replied. "I'll admit, I'm not ready for the whole world to know that I got you pregnant, but not because of whom you are, it's because people will look down on me. They're going to blame me for this, Bella. Everyone knows you were wasted at Homecoming."

"It would be so much easier to blame me, though," I murmured. "If you haven't noticed, I'm kind of oblivious to the world. The world could be burning down and I'd still be smiling. I think Mrs. Stanley's blaming me for this."

"Oh, screw Mrs. Stanley," Edward snapped. "Bella, can you just stop it? You're right; you are oblivious to the world. Mrs. Stanley doesn't blame you for being pregnant; she blames you for me breaking up with Jessica, even though that happened in May."

"Oh." I really was lost when it came to understanding what was going on in my black hole town.

"Is that you giving up?" Edward asked with a smirk. He smiled crookedly, and I just noticed. It was cute. He only had one dimple.

"No."

He sighed, rolling his eyes with an amused smile. "Fine. We'll deal with this later. Right now, I think I should get you home."

"Yes, please," I replied, standing up slowly and letting Edward grasp my hand as we left the hospital.

It was only three o'clock. I had time. Edward noticed this as well.

"Do you want to drive around or something? Grab something to eat?" he asked after he peeled out of the parking lot.

"Hmm, what does the baby want now?" I asked myself, looking at my stomach. "I'm really feeling...a Slurpee, and...sunflower seeds."

He snorted. "Alright, Sevy run it is."

Edward drove us to the nearest 7-11, which was on the corner of Main Street. Oh thank heaven for 7-11!

I grabbed the medium cup and filled it up with the Pepsi flavoured slush while Edward picked up some seasoned sunflower seeds. I held out my hand for the seeds so I could pay. Edward shook his head, refusing to let me pay.

"I can buy my own shit, thank you," I said, snatching the bag out of his hands.

"Are you always this stubborn?"

"Yes."

We sat outside on the bench while I ate the sunflower seeds. The salty and sweet tastes combined in my mouth and nothing could possibly be more orgasmic.

"Want some?" I asked, holding the bag out. Edward shook his head, and then I offered him my Slurpee. He took a sip out of my straw and I grinned at him. "You like it?"

"Maybe not in that quantity, but I do like a good Slurpee every once in a while. They're really good with vodka," Edward told me matter-of-factly.

"I wouldn't know," I replied, my lips concealing the tip of the straw. "Homecoming was the first time I've ever drank anything. Getting crunk isn't my style."

"Alcohol isn't so bad if you don't overdo it," Edward murmured, grabbing the Slurpee and taking a drink. "You have to know your limits."

"I have no limits," I answered, snatching my Slurpee back.

"Clearly," he replied wryly.

"Oh, like you can talk. Aren't you like a man whore?"

Edward scowled. "Where the hell did you hear that?"

"I didn't, I just thought you might be," I murmured with a shrug, taking a sip. "Girls sink their claws into you all the time."

"That doesn't mean I drag them to bed with me." He was pissed.

"Settle down, kid," I muttered, rolling my eyes. "Just some friendly banter amongst friends, yo. Loosen your tie, lean back, relax."

He sighed, frustrated with me. We were such opposites. I was way beyond laid back and he was kind of rigid. How he ever got it in his head that we'd be good for each other was beyond me.

"Listen, forget about it, guy," I said soothingly, rubbing his back with my free hand. "You don't know me as well as you thought you did, apparently. I'm not nice all the time. I show people I care about them by teasing them. You'd better get used to it."

Edward peeked up at me, grinning at my choice of words. I sighed with a grin and a roll of my eyes. Yes, I just admitted I cared about you, you meathead. Get over it.

"So, it's like elementary again, huh? The more you tease me, the more you like me," Edward concluded, in a better mood now.

I nodded, sucking up some more slushy goodness.

"Well, in that case, tease away, Bella." He leaned back on the bench.

"Nah, I don't think I will," I decided, teasing him even more.

Edward leaned closer to me, his eyes brightening with mischief. "You care about me though, don't you?"

I tried leaning away, but he was like a freakin' black hole, sucking me into his stare. All I could do was nod.

"So, you wouldn't be opposed to kissing me while sober?"

I shook my head, completely under a trance. It was crazy how influenced I was by him.

"Good," he sighed, gently pressing his lips to mine.

Our lips moved together, like harmony and Beethoven. Soon, our tongues were tangling. The Slurpee was dropped onto the ground, giving a loud splat, leaving my hands free to tangle themselves in Edward's hair. Edward's hand cupped my face, his hands surprisingly soft and warm.

"Get a room!" someone called from the street. A bunch of kids chuckled as the rode past on bikes. I smiled against Edward's lips and flipped them the bird.

Edward chuckled and pulled away, kissing me chastely on the lips one more time and sitting back down against the bench.

"Oh, it was that little shit, Jason Weber," I grumbled. Why did a perfect moment have to be wrecked by a kid I babysat?

"Angela Weber's little brother?" Edward asked.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I babysit him and his twin. They're a couple of hell-raisers." I smiled. "That's why I like 'em."'

"You probably helped them along that path," Edward said with a sly smile.

"Hell no! I'm the Chief of Police's daughter, man," I answered. "I gotta be good. I gotta rep to hold."

He rolled his eyes. "That's why you smoke dope."

"I smoke dope because I can," I replied. "My stepmom, Sue, did pretty much anything she could to get me to calm down as a kid. I have A.D.D., so she started searching for a drug dealer to get me weed. That's the only thing she's good for."

"Does your dad know?" Once again, Edward looked shocked.

"Nah, he'd have an aneurism if he found out," I said nonchalantly. "It's our little secret."

"That's...unbelievably cool," Edward admitted. "My mom won't even let me touch our liquor cabinet."

"It's not that hard to find someone to pull, is it? All those La Push boys are old enough, aren't they?" I asked. La Push school had been shut down a while ago, so now all the kids from the res come to school in Forks. Some that had previously dropped out decided to come back when they found out they'd be getting bussed to Forks. Broadening their horizons, I guess.

"Yeah, it's no problem, but it'd be kick ass if my parents did it for me."

"What can I say? My stepmom's a control freak."

We continued talking about our parents while I spit sunflower seeds all over the sidewalk. Before we knew it, it was five-thirty.

"Shit, we'd better get going," I muttered, checking my cell. "Sue'll shit a brick if I don't eat at six."

"Okay, I'd better get you back to that dinosaur you drive," Edward replied with a smirk.

"Hey, don't diss the truck," I said seriously. "It might look like a piece of crap, but that thing runs like a dream, and it's built like a tank. I could take out your little Volvo any day."

"I'll give you that," Edward allowed, "but your truck has absolutely no chance against mine in speed."

"Have you ever read _The Hare and the Tortoise,_ Edward?" I asked with narrow eyes. "It's not the fastest that wins the race."

Edward shrugged good-naturedly and opened the passenger door for me.

Charlie was actually kind of happy that I'd found an adoptive couple. I thought he'd be all, "Grumble, grumble, 'bout God damn time, grumble, grumble." But, he actually grinned when I told him Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were willing to adopt the kid. He was _smiling._ For the first time in just over three months, he was smiling.

"When do they want to see us?" Charlie asked after informing Sue. "The sooner the better, I think. I want this shit set in stone."

"Tonight, if that's okay with you," I replied, picking up an apple and shining it on my shirt before taking a bite. "As in, seven o'clock."

Charlie's eyes bugged out, in a good way. "Wow, those Cullens must be sure of themselves. I don't know who would take your kid. You're such a weirdo." He grinned.

I rolled my eyes, smiling. "Who do you think I got that from?"

"Your mother's side, of course," he answered, still grinning. Then his grin disappeared and he looked like an old man again. "Is that Masen boy coming?"

I shook my head. "No, he's not. But, um, he's not so bad, Dad. He's been pretty decent, considering everything."

Charlie cleared his throat gruffly, refusing to look at me. "He still knocked ya up, Bells. I don't care if he's the God damn president of the chastity club and you were his only slip-up, he still screwed you" – I laughed at the irony quietly – "over."

"I know things aren't exactly ideal, Dad, but that's how they are."

He sighed. "I know. I'm just not very good at accepting that, I guess."

"So, we're set then?" Charlie asked after we finished signing all the papers Mr. Mallory shoved at me. "This is it?"

"Yes," Dr. Cullen replied with a smile, wrapping an arm around Mrs. Cullen, who was absolutely glowing. "It's all set. Now we just have to wait."

"Six more months," I mumbled under my breath. Then I remembered the ultra-sound. "Oh, dude, here's a picture of your future kid." I held out the photo. The doctor and the missus gathered around me and oo-ed and ah-ed over the close up of the baby's little head. "You can keep it."

"Thank you, Bella," Mrs. Cullen breathed, taking the picture with wide eyes that were brimming with tears. "Thank you for everything."

"Oh, it's no big deal," I assured her. "You should probably thank Edward, too, you know. He's the one that'll make the kid cute and at least semi-normal."

"We'll be sure to do that," Dr. Cullen murmured stiffly. I told him that we were over it, but he still didn't like Edward very much.

"Well, we should head'er, Bells, don't you think?" Charlie asked me. "It's been a pleasure, really. Thank you, you two."

"No, really, thank you," Esme said, hugging the picture to her chest, smiling warmly. "Be sure to get Carlisle to look after the bills and everything." She looked at me happily. "Thank you again, Bella." She threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

"It's not a big deal," I reassured her, patting her back gently. "I couldn't have picked a better couple to take care of this kid. You'll be great."

Mrs. Cullen wiped away her happy tears as she pulled away. She kept murmuring "Thank you" as Dr. Cullen hugged her and smiled at me.

"See you around, Doc," Charlie said as we left their house.

We walked silently out to the cruiser. Charlie was happy. Like, ridiculously freakin' happy. Happier than he's been in a while. And I didn't know why.

"Why're you so happy?" I asked him as we left the Cullen household.

"I'm just happy that you were smart enough to give this baby to a more than deserving couple, Bella," he replied with a content sigh. "You made a miracle for someone out of your shitty situation."

I guess that was one way to put it. It's not like this wasn't benefiting me either. So, yeah, I guess you could say that this shit-tastic situation was turning out to be something good. Silver lining on the clouds. Thank you, baby.

* * *

_So, they've kissed. No big deal or anything._

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_This weeks rec: _Cullen, Unscripted _by FL95. Fucking hilarious. That's all I'm gunna say. And it's officially completed, too. In case that changes your decision._

_Mary_

_Just a little update on Learning to Breathe:  
It's coming along swimmingly. Edward is actually really funny in his head, he just doesn't express it well. I'm seriously cracking up while I'm writing his side. It's sort of like _Midnight Sun_ except my Edward isn't as moody or brooding. He's just scared of being picked on, which is somewhat understandable._

_An update from my lovely life:  
I'm in the middle of finals. Well, not the middle. I only have one left tomorrow. And then I'm done high school. Finito. Buh-bye. See ya lata. Sort of sad. Really sad, actually. I cried after my last day of actual classes. I'm pathetic._


	9. Chapter 9

_One Month Later_

I sighed shakily. This was it. We were gunna be "exclusive." Everyone was going to know. After four weeks of sneaking around and learning more about each other, Edward popped the question.

"Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" he blurted randomly after I had just finished eating some ice cream.

The cone, which I had been so looking forward to, dropped on the sidewalk as I gaped at Edward.

His ears turned red, a tell-tale sign that he was embarrassed.

"Yes," I answered in an exhale. "Wow, uh, yes, yes I'll be your girlfriend."

He smiled, his face still red. He hugged me and kissed my cheek repeatedly, his own way of saying thank you.

Edward and I were an odd couple. We fought a lot, but we also got along really well. I was kind of surprised to find out that we had so much in common. He was even as obsessed with All Time Low as I was. He liked to quote movies during conversation, and then he'd burst out laughing, like it was some private joke with himself. God, he was awesome. He was the peanut butter to the roof of my mouth. We just stuck together, whether we were annoyed with each or not.

This was the day. Edward had asked me out on Saturday, and now it was Monday. He picked me up for school for the first time. Charlie was not impressed, even though I said we were dating. He would probably hate Edward no matter what he did.

"Calm down," Edward murmured, grasping my hand on the console. "It'll be fine."

I was sitting rigidly in my seat, holding Edward's hand so tightly that my knuckles were white. This was going to be interesting. People still didn't really know that I was pregnant, but they were starting to figure it out. Rosalie told me that everyone asked why I was putting on so much weight. She kept her lips zipped, but I knew it'd have to come out eventually. It was clear that this wasn't fat. It was a baby bump.

We got to school after what felt like a second, maybe a second and a half. I got out of the car, slinging my bag over my shoulder and adjusting my baggy sweater. I cleared my throat and shoved my hands into my pocket, not bothering to wait for Edward. But, before I could even step away from the car, Edward grabbed my arm with a chuckle.

"Come on, _girlfriend,_ I want to show you off," he whispered in my ear before kissing me gently on the jaw.

My shoulders immediately came up to my ears, a small smile on my face, as I tried to push his mouth away.

"Stop it, Edward," I begged quietly.

"At least let me hold your hand," he replied, pulling my hand out of my pocket and intertwining our fingers.

I sighed and let him drag me through campus. People stared. People always stared. I was aware of everything today. Usually I didn't pay attention to the people. Not even after Edward and I had first gotten together. But, for some reason, I was very conscious of what was going on around me today. Maybe it had something to do with the thing clinging to my hand.

"Edward, they're staring," I mumbled, my eyes darting around the hallway, bouncing from each set of staring eyes like a ping pong ball.

"They're always staring," he reminded me in a murmur. "This shouldn't be new to you."

"I don't like this kind of staring," I complained.

"Get used to it, babe." He smiled at someone in the hallway that looked quite disturbed that we were holding hands.

I sighed and refused to meet the eyes of anyone in the hallway.

"Well, this is my locker," I announced randomly. "I'll see ya at lunch, dude."

Edward snorted and didn't let go of my hand when I tried pulling away. "Bella, we both know your locker is almost right beside mine, now stop being such a baby."

I grumbled under my breath while we continued our walk through hell. It was hell for me, at least. I think I could finally empathize with losers that actually care about how people see them. High school would really blow if I was constantly worried about what people thought.

Finally, we made it to the God forsaken lockers. I huffed as I pulled my binders out of my backpack and shoved them into my tiny cubicle. I grabbed my books for History and slammed the door shut.

"I'll see you at lunch," I called over my shoulder as I walked towards my classroom.

But, before I could turn the corner into the hallway I wanted, Edward grabbed my hand and forced me to turn towards him. He looked at me with warm, pleading eyes.

"One kiss for the road?" he asked innocently. He freakin' knew I couldn't deny him when he asked so nicely. "Please?" Oh, dammit, that was just that cherry on top of the guilt cake.

I made a point of rolling my eyes while I let him pull me closer to his body, smiling all the while because I knew I was f-word lucky to even be near someone that looked like Edward did. He even _smelt_ like heaven today. Our lips moved together, both of us grinning like Cheshire cats in a maze full of riddles. It was a chaste kiss, but it still made my stomach feel all mushy inside. Edward had never ceased to have this affect on me in the entire month that we had been kissing. I loved that feeling entirely too much.

The rest of the day was sluggish. It wasn't like I needed to be with Edward, but life was definitely a bit brighter when I was with him. I wasn't one of those clingy girls that claimed that the air was easier to breathe around her man or that she was actually alive around the boy she was with. Nah, not my style. I liked Edward. He made me feel good. I liked this feeling. Put those together, and viola. You have a feeling of longing. Nothing intense, nothing earth-shattering, just nice. Plain and simple.

Lunch finally rolled around and I'll admit that my smile got a little bit bigger when I saw Edward waving me over to the table I had been occupying for a month now. Jasper finally warmed up to me, and – dare I say? – even liked my childish view on life a bit as well. Alice bought me stuff that I clearly didn't need, claiming that I was her charity case of the year. That was a real confidence booster. Emmett was...Emmett. There's no other way to describe this freakishly large and boisterous seventeen-year-old. He was loud and he was obnoxious and I loved every second of it. He was the type of person I liked being around because he could make me laugh until some sort of liquid came flying through my nostrils. Rose and him were hitting it off quite nicely, which was cool, I guess.

People were talking. Again. The people at our table already sort of knew. I mean, if you hung around Edward and me, it was blatantly obvious that there was a lil' somethin'-somethin' going on between us. Most people didn't have that privilege though, so they didn't find out until today.

"So, it's official then?" Alice asked in a bored tone.

"Yeah," I sighed, not completely happy with that decision still. "I guess so."

Edward smiled and rolled his eyes at me. "Don't sound so enthused."

"I'm _not_ enthused," I mumbled, looking down at my pudding cup.

Edward sighed. We were probably going to fight after school today. It was just one of many stressful days in the lives of Edward and Bella. It was just that Edward so excited about us finally being _us,_ and I honestly didn't care whether other people knew about us or not, as long as we knew about it. It brought a lot of unwanted attention to me. More attention than I needed right now. In less than a month, I'd be sporting a very apparent baby bump. That would be enough for me.

"Well, I'm happy about it," Emmett announced. He always had to get the last word. "Now when all the guys ask me what the hell's going on with Eddie, I can tell him that he's got a lady friend, and not just any lady friend, Bella fucking Swan."

I smiled. "Damn right. Bella fucking Swan."

Emmett chuckled and pounded my fist. "Dude, I knew this girl was good news."

Edward grunted. He would ignore me until we were alone. It was almost annoying how predictable he could be when he was irritated by me. We might as well get this stupid fight over with as soon as possible.

"Hey, do you wanna go eat in the car?" I asked. Ha, it kind of sounded like I was his mother sending him to the vehicle for being bad.

"Sure," he answered curtly, standing up and walking away. He was already three tables away before I got myself organized to follow him.

"Wish me luck," I muttered.

"Good luck!" Emmett immediately answered with a grin. "You're gunna need it with him."

God, did I ever know that. Sometimes I wondered why he even stayed with me. I could be a complete child and the biggest bitch at the same time. How is that even _possible_?

I rushed out the school and sprinted to the car. It was getting pretty chilly out. Christmas was two weeks away. I'd already gotten/made my presents. Mostly made, of course. I'm not made of money, and Charlie sure as hell didn't plant me a money tree.

The car was already started when I finally pulled open the passenger door. I was shivering like a freakin' epileptic even though Edward's car warmed up really quickly. My teeth were chattering and my muscles were absolutely stiff, as was Edward's silence. God, he was so... Gah, I don't even know. Tortured, or something.

My mouth refused to flap when I was this outrageously cold. So we sat there for three minutes while I urged my body to calm down.

"I'm sorry," I finally sighed as the seat warmer kicked in.

Edward gave me a stony glance.

"You just don't get it," I continued. "Any day now, people are gunna finally figure out that this ain't just a food baby, it's a real baby. If we publically display our affection all the time, I'm just gunna end up bringing unnecessary attention to my body. They can stare all they want when I'm as big as a house, I don't care then. But, for now, I'd just like to lay low. Have a few more days, maybe weeks of peace. Can we please do that? After everyone finds out, you can do whatever you want. You can freakin' pull up my maternity shirt and kiss my stomach a million times for all I care."

"Bella, I don't get you," Edward said gruffly. "People stare at you regardless of me or not. You just started noticing it when I was with you. Whether I leave you alone while everyone else is still oblivious or not, you're still going to be stared at."

"It's not the same," I argued. "At least then I know they have a legit reason to stare. I'm the weird one. Everyone needs someone to stare at in the hallway. And most of the time I know their judgements are wrong. But, when I'm with you, well, I feel like everyone can see right through, like they have x-ray glasses on."

Edward's spider fingers wrapped around my cheeks tightly, making my face start on fire. He looked into my eyes intensely. I couldn't look away, not even if I wanted to.

"Bella, it doesn't matter what they say, do you hear me? They're just a bunch of idiots with nothing better to do but make your life hell. At least you have a life they can screw around with," he said, his voice laced with authority. I found myself nodding even though I didn't completely agree with him. His definition of life and mine were slightly different it seemed. "I'm glad we're on the same page now."

"Me too," I whispered. Sue told me that after my first trimester was done, I was gunna be super horny. I hadn't felt it really until now. I just wanted to rip Edward's clothes off and lick those delectable abs that I managed to cop a feel of every once in a while. I snuck a glance at the clock. It was only quarter after twelve. I had forty-five minutes of play time. Eating could wait as far as I was concerned. So, I pressed my lips to Edward's. His hands relaxed against my cheeks and he automatically pried open my lips with his tongue.

We made out for a while, our hands brushing against each other's bodies randomly, neither of us really in a rush to end things or take things to another level. But, my hormones took over after a few minutes of innocent making out.

"Edward, I'm horny," I gasped when I pulled away finally. "Like, ridiculously horny. As in, if I don't get some action right now, I'm taking all of the money I've saved up in the past month and putting it towards a good vibrator and I'm just gunna chillax at my house by myself for a while."

His eyes got considerably darker, and this wasn't anything like the first time we got together. It had been fun and random and crazy the first time. This time it was serious and planned. I needed it this time.

"Get in the back," he commanded. He got out of the car and climbed into the back while I just crawled into the backseat and waited for him to get down to business.

_Thank you, Jesus, for tinted windows,_ I thought as Edward's hands began tugging at my clothes. I kissed him everywhere, trying to cover as much area as possible. My shitty plastic coat was unzipped and thrown to the side. I was wearing my favourite shirt, a plain white tee with the words "Let's start a riot" scrawled on the front and my favourite pair of battered jeans today. You know, I woke up that morning, and I knew it was going to be a good day. I just knew it.

The only sounds were our laboured breathing and our lips mashing together or touching skin. It might as well have been a symphony. I unbuttoned Edward's shirt and pushed it off his shoulders, leaving him in only his boxers. Apparently he had taken off his own pants. _Smart boy, _I thought with a smirk. He noticed me staring at his pantlessness and just shrugged, blushing slightly. What a cutie.

Edward pulled off my shirt and unbuttoned my jeans while kissing my slight inclination of a stomach. I threaded my fingers in his hair and bit my lip, trying to keep myself from giggling in complete contention. That was where I wanted to be. That was where I belonged.

"I hope no one comes outside," I murmured as Edward removed my jeans quickly and began moving back up my stomach, leaving feathery kisses behind.

"Hmm," he mumbled against my skin, the vibrations of his lips giving me shivers. When we got to the valley between my boobs, he slowly undid my nude bra and dropped it on the floor, his lips enveloping my hardened nipples, making my hips jump into his body. He chuckled against my sensitive skin, making me moan and tightened my grip of his hair. He moved up my chest and onto my neck, kissing my jaw before kissing my lips, making me smile.

Edward's hand slipped between my flesh and my underwear, his cool hand giving me goose bumps. His thumb brushed over my hipbone and his tongue probed mine. While intoxicated by the taste of Edward's mouth, he removed my underwear and his own.

"Are you ready?" he breathed, barely pulling away from my mouth.

"Mhm," I murmured, not even bothering to open my eyes. I could feel Edward's hardened and glorious cock at the entrance of my vag. My vag which, in five months, would be opening wide enough to let a baby's gargantuous head through. It almost freaked me out. But then I remembered I was about to have sex with a fairly appealing guy, a guy that was willing to stick with me even though I myself would be gargantuous soon enough.

He went slowly, which was nice. Last time, from what I remember, was rushed and I barely had time to adjust. But, then again, the alcohol might have sped it up in my mind. Who knows what happened last time. I sighed as Edward filled me completely, consuming my senses. He exhaled slowly, trying to make himself go slowly for my sake.

"Don't hold back," I pleaded. "Please, just go at it."

Edward chuckled. "You've got a way with words, Bella." And then he thrusted into my hips, making my breathing hitch. It was amazing. "You've always had a way with words." He thrusted again. "You make me happy no matter what you're doing." Another thrust. My body was coiling around him already. God, I'd been putting this off for far too long. "God, I love you."

My eyes bulged out of my head for a second. He _loved_ me? Jesus crust, that was intense. And then he thrusted again. He didn't expect me to say anything. And I completely forgot about the "l" word.

"Harder!" I cried, my nails digging into his back as my eyes squeezed shut. There was so much pressure everywhere. "Fucking Christ."

Edward picked up the pace, rocking my hips into the seat as we both panted, steaming up the windows quite nicely. Edward kept hitting that sweet spot that I didn't even know existed until I got with him. I moaned and then he hit the same spot one more time, making me go over the edge. I was rigid as I came, my body tense before relaxing completely. While I was flying on a cloud, Edward thrust a few more times and then came himself. He groaned into my neck as he shook slightly. I let Edward lay on top of me while I ran my fingers through his hair. He kissed my chest a few times and sighed, just laying there for a while.

I was so content. I was loving this moment in time. It was crazy how we could go from fighting to sexin' in mere minutes. I loved that about us. We weren't boring, that's for sure.

Then I thought I heard Edward murmur "I love you" again, but I brushed it off. I'd have to get used to it. That, or I could just tell him that I thought I might be in love, too. But that might hurt too much.

* * *

_Sorry for being later than usual. I was in southern Saskatchewan all weekend at a ball tournament/watersliding/burning for the fourth time this summer._

_Yay! They're dating now AND there was sexin'. Admit it. You love me for this chapter._

_P.S. Bella's description of Edward was just her being funny. I promise you, I don't ever describe cocks as "hardened and glorious." That's stupid. That's erotica. Have you ever read _Cosmo_ and then read the little teasers for romantic novels in the back? I do that with my friends all the time just so we can make fun of the descriptions of cocks. It's fun. Trust me._

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_I am a pimp:  
_Sins of the Father _by bethaboo. Not gunna lie, even though her Edward is a total manipulative dick, I like him, in the please-get-in-my-bed way._

_Mary_


	10. Chapter 10

We walked back into the school hand-in-hand. I tried to ignore all the beady eyes in the cafeteria. Most of them were girls that were jealous of me. I wanted to stick my tongue out at the bitches, but I decided to take the high road.

"Well, don't you two look happy," Alice said dryly when we sat back down.

Emmett smirked. "They banged, so what?"

"Emmett!" I gasped. "I am appalled that you would say something like that. I mean, so what if we did? We _are_ dating."

Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper snickered. Edward's ears turned red. Alice rolled her eyes and then stood up.

"Hey, everyone, Edward is dating Bella Swan!" she announced to our entire class.

"Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck," I chanted as the people in the room began staring at Edward and I. I thought they were gunna frickin' stone me to death with their eyes!

"Alice!" Edward exclaimed. "What the hell was that for?"

"Clearly neither of you two was going to announce it, so I did it for you," Alice said. "I just sped up the process." She grabbed her tray and left the table. Jasper reluctantly followed her.

I laid my head down on the table with a groan. "Fuck my life."

Edward rubbed my back. "Come on, babe. It's not that big of a deal. Everyone probably knew anyway."

I peaked at him from underneath my hair. He smiled at me reassuringly.

The week continued with more staring, more whispering when I was standing right beside them and could clearly hear them. I learned to get used to it. It wasn't that hard. I mean, I'd ignored everyone for most of my high school career. This wasn't anything new to me.

People caught onto the baby bump around a week later. Everyone still remembered that Edward and I had got together at Homecoming. They put two and two together, and bam. Forks High School knew I was pregnant.

"How's the bun in the oven, Swan?"

"Fine, thank you."

"Well, if it isn't slutty Swan."

"Well, if it isn't crunt sack Crowley."

"Hey, Bella. I heard you're pregnant."

"Oh! I heard the same thing about you! Oh mah goodness! Crazy!"

That was my life for the next few days. Finally people calmed down. A little, at least. They stopped talking to me because I wouldn't give them a straight answer. Rose started answering questions for me, but she wasn't much better.

"Hey, Rose. Is Bella really pregnant?"

"Uh, nah, man. I think it's a food baby. We crushed, like, a case of pop and two bowls of popcorn last night." She laughed. "It was sorta disgusting."

The mob finally resorted to asking Edward about it.

"Hey, big guy! I heard you got Swan knocked up. Congrats."

Edward would mumble something incoherent and walk away.

Yeah, that's how we roll.

By Christmas, everyone in town knew I was pregnant. Big frickin' deal. They would have figured it out eventually anyway. People seemed to be more appalled that Edward was actually dating me instead of, I don't know, kicking me to the curb, shoving me down a flight of stairs. Something along those lines.

My Nonna came down for Christmas. She was an old, Italian woman that barely brushed five feet. Charlie was worried that she'd flip shit when she found out that I was pregnant, since she was all moral and crap, but she was even more excited than Carlisle and Esme. Like, she was scary stoked.

"Oh, my beautiful Bella!" she exclaimed in her thick accent. "You're going to give your old Nonna a little baby." She hugged me tightly and kissed me. "Thank you, thank you."

"Uh, Nonna, this baby's peacin' out," I told her. "Like, I'm giving it up for adoption."

"Is okay," she assured me with a confident nod. "We'll still see the precious baby, right?"

"Yeah, I guess we could go visit it," I mumbled. "Um, I'm glad you like the fact that I'm pregnant, Nonna. The baby daddy is coming over later if you want to meet him."

"Oh!" Nonna clapped her hands together. "That would be lovely. I'll start making lasagne."

She waddled into the kitchen, kicking Sue out of the room, and began slaving away over the oven.

"Holy balls," I murmured under my breath. How bizarre. My Nonna, a pure, angelic old woman, was absolutely ecstatic that I was pregnant. I could barely wrap my hand around it.

I texted Edward soon after the incident.

"Dude, my nonna is stoked to meet u. She's excited that im pregnant."

"R u serious?"

"Im dead serious."

"Im on my way over now."

I went upstairs and changed into some UW sweats and started helping Nonna with supper. That was one thing I inherited from the Swans: the ability to cook damn good food without even trying. Sue didn't have anything on me. I was just too lazy to cook every damn night.

Edward's family was coming down on Christmas Eve and not leaving again until after New Years, and he wasn't sure when we'd be able to chillax again, so I invited him over on Christmas Eve Eve, just in case I couldn't see him again until the New Year.

There was a knock at the door soon after.

"Dad, will you get that?" I called as I pulled the lasagne out of the oven and put the garlic toast in.

Charlie let Edward into the house. Edward smiled and shook his hand. Charlie didn't look very impressed. Edward walked into the kitchen and kissed me on the cheek.

"Nonna, this is Edward, my, uh, boyfriend," I introduced.

"Oh! Edward!" Nonna exclaimed, opening up her arms and engulfing Edward in a hug. "Thank you, thank you for giving me a grandchild."

"Um, you're welcome?" Edward said as he hugged my nonna back. He glanced at me with confused eyes.

When Nonna let go of him, I whispered in his ear, "She's a little crazy."

Edward nodded with a smile. "I can see where you get it from now."

I smacked his arm with the oven mitt and continued cooking supper with Nonna.

"I hope you like Italian, Edward," I said as I washed lettuce. "Nonna's an Italian to the bone."

"Oh, I love Italian," Edward assured me. "Is there anything I can help with?"

"No, no, get out of my kitchen!" Nonna cried, waving the dish cloth at him, shooing him out of the room. "Out, out, out!"

Edward smiled as he left the room. Thankfully Seth started talking to Edward. Charlie would have been an ass.

Soon, all the food was done. Edward and I sat across from Nonna and Seth, with Sue and Charlie on the ends of the tables.

"We say grace," Nonna announced solemnly. She bowed her head. "_Dio_, thank you for my son, Charlie, and my grandchildren, Bella and Seth. And thank you for giving me a great-grandchild before I come to you, _Dio_. Amen."

"Amen," everyone murmured.

We ate the lasagne, Caesar salad, and garlic toast in the usual Swan fashion. I wasn't sure if Edward was comfortable around my loud, inappropriate family.

"Seth! Stop feeding Jacob," Sue snapped. "You know he gets bunged up when you feed him hamburger."

"Sue, stop pushin' the poor kid around," Charlie mumbled. "You know he'll just do it more if you get mad at him."

Sue huffed before turning back to her plate. "This is very good, Marie."

"Thank you," Nonna replied. "Bella made the garlic toast and the salad. She's a very good cook." She winked at Edward.

"Um," Edward said, looking down at his plate.

"Thanks, Nonna," I replied with a smile. "Now if I weren't so damn lazy, maybe we could eat real food more often."

"Bella, don't say that," Charlie warned.

Sue flew off the wall. "Bella! I'm trying my hardest. I work six days a week at the reserve, the least you could do is cook and clean while I'm gone."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatevs, Sue. You know that's not my bag."

Sue turned red in the face with effort. She wanted to scream at me, but Nonna would flip shit if Sue yelled at me. And she would embarrass herself in front of the mayor's son.

Edward and I finished eating quickly.

"We're gunna go chill upstairs," I told Charlie as I stood up. "Dibs out on doing dishes."

Edward followed me upstairs to my room. I fell on top of the covers with a sigh.

"So, what'd you think of my crazy family?" I asked with a grin.

"Not crazy, eccentric," Edward reworded with a gentle smile. He laid down beside me. "They're alright. Overwhelming, but I think I could get used to it."

"Even Sue?" I asked with raised eyebrows. "Hell, I'm not even used to her yet, and she's been around for nine years."

Edward laughed a little. "I think she's alright."

I shrugged and yawned. "All that cooking tired me out."

"It was very good," Edward complimented. "I didn't know you could cook."

"It's a talent," I murmured with a smile. "I don't cook a lot, but I should. Sue makes shitty food."

"Why don't you?"

"Busy." I yawned again. "Frick, I'm tired. Shall we nap, good sir?"

Edward wrapped an arm around my baby bump. "Sure."

I fell asleep almost immediately, curled into Edward.

* * *

_Sorry for not posting yesterday! I didn't even realize what day of the week it was until I woke up this morning! Ugh, total fail on my behalf, hah. AND. Since I managed to fail for another week, I'll be posting another chapter on Wednesday. I'm gunna be gone from Wednesday 'til Monday this week, so I'll be posting when I leave, and when I get home. :) That okay? 'Kay good. (I'm going to Craven. It's the drunkest weekend in Saskatchewan. It's also the number one place in Canada to get an STI and the number three place in Canada to get laid. Eep. Scar-y.)_

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_Recc'age:  
_Paper CutOuts _by twistedcoincidence and astilbe13. This story owns me. Seriously. I'm definitely re-reading it when it's complete. This Edward is amazing, even if I do want to shake him 90% of the time, and this Bella is way too cute. Think _The Beautiful Letdown _Bella, just a little less...out there. And Finn. Oh, Finn. I'm not telling you who he is, but you'll love him when you meet him._


	11. Chapter 11

_January_

Sue enrolled me in birthing classes after Nonna left, and she told me she was doing them with me. Usually the baby's dad was involved, but there was no way in hell I'd ever make Edward do that. It'd be freaking mortifying.

The instructor was a total nut. It was all about _breathing _and _feeling _and _pushing._ By the end, I was so pissy that I could have smacked a bitch. Thank God Sue needed to go home right after, or else I probably would have ended up having a bitch fit.

Edward and I hung out a lot, which was cool. Rose was all about Emmett now; she was down with me finding someone else to chillax with. Alice seemed to approve of the entire situation, which was disconcerting. There was something freaky about that chick. I mean, I'm frickin' pregnant. How am I in any way good for her extremely popular clique?

The rest of the kids agreed with my logic. The whispers behind my back escalated. Instead of being invisible in the hallway, I was avoided and stared at.

My stomach was a decent size. It looked like I was trying to shoplift a small pillow. My jeans had elastic waistbands now, courtesy of Sue.

I tried to convince Charlie to let me work, but Sue said I needed to take it easy.

"And take some damn vitamins," she finished with as she quilted a blanket for the kid.

Edward had to babysit his younger sister, Katie, one random Saturday night, so I went to help him. His parents were going to some benefit supper in Seattle or some shit like that.

I was there a little early, early enough to actually meet Edward's parents for the first time. Mrs. Masen was putting on some earrings while she answered the door after I knocked.

"Oh, hello, Bella," she greeted with a quick smile. "I'll go tell Edward you're here."

"Thanks, Mrs. Masen," I replied, shoving my hands in my pockets. "You look smokin' hot tonight."

"Um, thank you," she murmured, her lips twitching. "Wait here."

"Sure." I rocked back and forth on my feet while she walked to wherever Edward was at.

In the meantime, Edward Sr. showed up outta nowhere, scaring the piss out of me.

I put my hand on my heart and swallowed a yelp. "Hey, Mr. Masen."

"Ms. Swan," he greeted with a nod. "How are you?"

I shrugged. "Not bad, how about yourself?"

"Good, considering."

"Right, you're running for mayor again. How's the campaign going?"

"Had to be tweaked a little. I was shooting for a good, Christian angle, but now that my son's knocked up the police chief's daughter, that would be a tad hypocritical, wouldn't it?"

"Dad!" Edward interrupted as he entered the room. "What the hell was that?"

Mr. Masen smiled briefly at his son. "Nothing, Edward. "He attached a cufflink quickly. "Coming, Elizabeth?"

"Yes, I'm here," she sighed. "Let's leave before you can say anything more."

They left the house quickly, silently arguing. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to a lean body. A pair of lips ticked my neck. I sighed, closing my eyes and relaxing.

"I'm so sorry about that," Edward apologized quietly.

"He had a legit point," I replied, my hands covering his on my swollen belly. "I did fuck things up for him."

"Don't say that," Edward pleaded. "You didn't fuck anything up, you changed things. Some things weren't exactly ideal, but some of them were definitely for the better."

I smiled. "I guess."

Edward spun me around a kissed me on the lips quickly, twining our fingers.

"Come on," he breathed, tugging me towards the living room. "Let's watch movies with Katie."

She was already in the middle of _Beauty and the Beast_. She barely noticed up when we entered the room.

"I brought someone else to watch movies, Katie," Edward told her.

"Yeah, hey, Bella," she greeted, still not looking away from the TV.

"Hey, Katie."

"The kid moving yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Okay."

Katie was obsessed with touching my stomach. She wanted to feel the baby kicking really badly. She had never been around a pregnant woman before, so this was all new for her.

We watched the rest of _Beauty and the Beast_ before popping in _The Princess and the Frog,_ which was my new favourite Disney movie. The prince was just so damn cute.

"Okay, Katie-cat," Edward announced, slapping his thighs before standing up. "Time to go to bed."

"It's only ten!" Katie exclaimed.

"Which is an hour past your bedtime," Edward countered. "C'mon, stinky, get up."

"Fine," she huffed, a scowl on her face. "See you later, Bella."

"'Night, Katie."

Edward bent down and Katie hopped on his back. I started cleaning up while they climbed the stairs to Katie's room. I was washing the popcorn bowl when Edward wrapped his arms around my waist again, his hands resting on my stomach.

"You don't need to do that," Edward whispered against the nape of my neck.

"But I'm going to anyway," I murmured as his lips moved against my skin. "You dry."

Edward groaned playfully. I smirked as I handed him the towel.

"And then we can make-out, right?" he asked as he picked up a cup, drying it quickly.

"I guess so," I replied with a sigh.

"You want me," he declared, smiling at me crookedly.

"So sure of yourself," I chided. "You know, I was thinking of becoming a virgin again. Like, remain chaste until I'm married so I'm a born-again virgin or whatever."

Edward rolled his eyes, still smiling. "Babe, you're pregnant. That train is long gone."

"Well, if a certain someone hadn't seduced me at Homecoming...," I teased.

"If a certain someone hadn't been wearing a certain dress...," Edward replied.

I pulled the plug on the drain with a laugh. "Remind me to yell at Rose for that."

"Never," Edward mumbled, dropping the dish towel and catching my lips with his, fingers tangling in my hair.

I leaned against the counter, gripping Edward's shirt tightly, pulling him closer to my stomach.

We ended up having sex on the couch, Edward saying "I love you" when he came, as always. Of course we didn't talk about it. We never did. Those three words had way too much power to be toyed with.

Mr. and Mrs. Masen were spending the night in Seattle, so I spent the night at Edward's. He made me wear one of his shirts, even though I could barely fit into it.

"My clothes look better on you," he explained as we crawled into bed. "And if anyone walks into my room tomorrow morning without knocking, I want them to know who you belong to."

I rolled my eyes but smiled. "You're such an overprotective dork."

"_Your_ overprotective dork," Edward corrected as he pulled me close to him.

I slipped my cold toes under his legs and closed my eyes.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"There's something I should tell you."

"Shoot, cowboy."

"I love you."

I froze. We were finally addressing this whole...situation.

"So I've heard," I whispered.

"I know I should have told you when we weren't...doing that, but I was nervous." He chuckled a little. "Still am, actually."

"Ninety-nine percent sure I love you too," I replied. "So, no worries."

"Only ninety-nine percent?"

"We'll see what happens after I pop this kid out." I yawned. "Now, shut up."

"'Night, Bella."

* * *

_Sorry for being sort'a late on Wednesday. I was expecting to be leaving for Craven at about 6 PM tonight, and instead, my dad dragged me to the city, which is two hours away from where I leave, to get a brand spankin' new car! I'm now the owner of a red Cobalt, four doors, with no air conditioning, and power locks/windows/mirrors! It's a bare-bones Cobalt, lol. Anyway, I'm leaving for Craven tomorrow, and depending on how well the drinking contest I'm having with myself goes, I'll either be home on Sunday afternoonish or Monday afternoonish. Wish me luck! _

_They love each other. Awe._

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_Rec for the week: _How to Save a Life _by unholy(.)something... Can't remember right now.. FAIL. Heart fail. I seriously cried, and I'm a stone-cold bitch. So that's sayin' something._


	12. Chapter 12

_February_

My stomach grew, my relationship with Edward grew, Seth grew... Just a lot of growing in general. Which was okay, I suppose.

The people of Forks never seemed to get bored of talking about me. I was the juiciest piece of gossip Forks had seen in a long time. Obviously other teenage girls had gotten pregnant, but it was the fact that Edward was a Masen, the closest thing to old money in Forks, and the mayor's son that has everyone riled up. That, and I was the police chief's daughter and the next crazy cat lady.

Rose and Emmett started dating on Valentine's Day. OMG, so original, Emmett. Ah, they're good together. Emmett likes Rose's outrageous personality and Rose likes all the attention Emmett gives her. It works.

I had cravings like a mother trucker. Like, cravings for bad things. I wanted to smoke a joint so bad, but I think that was just 'cause of all the rumours flying around.

Edward was fairly happy with other cravings that needed to be sated. We had sex, like, every second day, if not more. The boy was extremely happy.

Thankfully we had gotten past all the tension. Edward was even cracking pregnant jokes.

"We should get you pregnant again right after you have this kid," Edward panted one time after we did it in the janitor's closet during lunch.

"Why?"

"You're horny all the time," Edward said with a grin. "There's no way I'm going to have this much sex again."

I smirked and shook my head. "You're terrible."

"But you still love me."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

Seth had a hockey tournament in Seattle, so Charlie and Sue were staying up there with him. I couldn't believe they were leaving me home alone for an entire weekend, but I didn't press my luck. I just went with the flow.

"Good luck, loser," I told Seth before they left.

"Check you later, lard-o."

Damn, the kid was getting witty.

Edward came over half an hour later for supper and movies. And sex, of course.

We ate the supper I made in the kitchen, talking like any normal couple would while home alone with absolutely no supervision or interruptions.

"You should go to school to be a cook, Bella," Edward told me as he chewed on his pork chop. "Seriously, this is the best I've eaten in a while. Don't tell my mom I said that, though."

I smiled. "I won't. I'm not sure what I'm doing yet. I sent in my applications for the community college and for U-Dub, but, I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life yet."

"Me either," Edward replied with a shrug. "I thought about medicine, but Dad wants me to go into law. I got accepted into both at U-Dub. I tried for Dartmouth and Harvard, too, but we'll see about them."

"That'd be so sick if you made into Dartmouth or Harvard, dude," I replied. "You'd totally fit in with all those blue bloods." I giggled. "We'll come back for our ten year anniversary and you'll be all rich and accomplished with some plastic Barbie doll of a wife and I'll still be living with Charlie and Sue, babysitting our kid at Dr. C.'s."

Edward rolled his eyes, a smile barely gracing his lips. "I doubt I'd go to Harvard or Dartmouth even if I got accepted. And I sure as hell wouldn't marry a blonde." He leaned closer, his panty-dropping smile flashing at me. "I'm into brunettes."

My cheeks warmed, but I laughed again. "Oh, c'mon. Daddy Warbucks over there would drag your ass to Harvard."

"He wouldn't be able to take me away from you."

I blushed harder, but continued with my nonchalance the best I could. "Your 'rents hate me, Edward. They'd hire a hit man if it meant getting you to go to Harvard."

Edward shook his head, his eyes darkening. "I don't think you understand, love. There's no way they'd be able to get me away from you."

"Bedroom. Now," I whispered.

We both stood up and rushed up the stairs to the best of my waddling ability. Oh, yes, I was waddling. I looked like a mother duck. It was sort of embarrassing. As soon as we slammed the door shut, Edward was raping my mouth with his tongue. I quite enjoyed the mouth rapage, not gunna lie. I loved knowing how much Edward wanted me, even though I was roughly the size of three of him now.

Edward sat down on the bed and unbuttoned my flannel shirt, kissing my ginormous belly, his hands wrapping around my back to unhook my bra. My jugs had seriously increased in mass. Edward was a friggin' maniac for my tots. So were a lot of guys at school. I could actually hear them try to whisper about them during class or in the hallway.

"Holy fuck, Bella's got huge knockers!"

"Pregnancy'll do that to a chick."

"I want them in and around my mouth."

"I would totally play with her tits too, dude."

It was sort of disgusting and mortifying, but it was the most positive talk about me at school, so I couldn't exactly be too upset about it. Edward wasn't very impressed about it though. I thought he was going to beat the shit outta poor Michael Newton. Mike and I used to be unintentional, awkward friends, and now I hardly even saw the kid at school. I felt bad for him.

We couldn't comfortably do the missionary position anymore, so I always got to go on top. I suggested going on my hands and knees, but Edward was totally against it. Something about being able to see my cum face. Yuck. Thanks for being so blunt, doll.

I sank onto Edward slowly, savouring the full feeling I always got from being on top. Edward could barely control himself.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he grunted, his hips moving under mine, his fingers digging into my hips. "Still so fucking tight."

I bit my lip and began to move, closing my eyes and concentrating on not crushing my boyfriend at this point in time. I couldn't fucking wait to not be pregnant anymore and just go hard. But Edward had some issues with pushing too hard now that I was very visibly pregnant. We did more loving than fucking, which was okay. But a girl needed a decent lay every once in a while too, y'know?

Since my body was just so sensitive, I came, like, four times before Edward even started to think about letting go.

"I really, really just want to roll you over," he panted as his hips attempted to jump off the bed. "Please, can you just go for a little longer, baby? I know you're tired, but I'm so close." He moaned before I kissed him on the lips, trying to tighten my body around his.

And, wouldn't you know it; I came at the same time as Edward again, bringing the grand total to five. I rolled off of Edward and onto the bed, panting and running my fingers through my hair.

"I came...fucking five...times!" I exclaimed between pants.

Edward laughed breathlessly. "I know. That's a record, babe."

"Don't I know it," I mumbled, crawling in between the sheets, and underneath my Sesame Street comforter. I felt horrible defacing the innocence of Sesame Street, but sometimes the urge was just too much to be considerate of my childhood blanket.

I curled into Edward's side, my head resting on his shoulder. He was rubbing my shoulder slowly and I was going cross-eyed I was so tired.

"Bella?" he asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Hmm?" I replied.

"I remember the day your mom died."

I tensed immediately.

"You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to," Edward assured me. "I just think that we should talk about it eventually."

"Yeah, we probably should," I replied quietly, sighing. "It was...rough. She... I mean, Dad told me a while ago where she was actually going, but when it happened, I was told she was going to visit one of her friends. I didn't really understand why she needed a suitcase, but I was young.

"She found someone else. Phil something or other. She was leaving Dad and me for him that night. Packed up all of her shit and peaced out." I laughed humourlessly.

"It was storming pretty bad that night. I remember trying to get to sleep that night. The lightning could light up my whole room. The thunder shook the house.

"She hit a wet area on the highway and started hydroplaning. There was a semi hauling lumber on the highway, too. She slid out in front of the semi and got t-boned."

I shrugged, blinking back tears, my throat constricting. "It still feels like it's my fault even though she's been gone for twelve years."

"Bella, it's not your fault," Edward murmured, pulling me closer to his chest. "How could you think something like that?"

"C'mon, Edward," I muttered, wiping my tears away quickly. "I wasn't exactly everyone's dream child. I was a brat and hard to deal with, especially for Renee. She had me when she was eighteen. I took away all the best years of her life."

"Bella," Edward said in a stern voice, "you did not take away anything from her. You gave her _you_, and you are amazing."

I smiled, the tears coming again. "Thanks."

"Anytime, love," Edward murmured against my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"And thank you for telling me," Edward whispered, his fingers wiping away some of my tears.

"Thank you for listening." I kissed his jaw.

"Get some sleep, Bella."

"'Night, Edward."

* * *

_Still some fun, but some serious, too. That's okay, right? And I know the whole five orgasm thing might not be really realistic, but whatevs. That's what's gunna happen for Bella._

_I somehow managed to survive Craven. I lost my dignity, but that can be regained slowly._

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_Pimpage: _Blind Faith_ by Sobriquett, my beta for _Carpe Diem. _Very, very cute story._


	13. Chapter 13

Before the February break, Alice decided that we were going to have a girl's night. WTF? The only time I interacted with Alice was during lunch, and we mostly split off into couples during that time anyway, so I hardly ever talked to her. Hell, I hardly even talked to Rose anymore and that was kind of sad. Our whole pseudo-lesbian thing had pretty much gone to shit when everyone figured out I had a bun in the oven.

Edward was pretty upset with this whole "girls only" dealio. He had a little bit of a temper tantrum when Alice announced it on the Friday before the break began.

"Bella, what's your cell phone number?" Alice asked, fishing her Crackberry out of her book bag. "I can't believe I didn't get it back when you started hanging out with Edward, but better late than never." She smiled at me expectantly.

"Oh, um, it's 1-206-555-7718," I replied. "Why?"

"We're going to have a _girl's night!_" she exclaimed, a huge smile on her tiny face. Her canines were...frightening when she exposed them like that. "How does Wednesday work for you two? That's the only night my parents aren't dragging me to visit people they don't like."

"I'm cool with Wednesday," Rose answered. "I'll even bring movies."

"Okay, I'm in, too," I said with a sigh. "I'll bring some appetizers and shit."

"Perfect." Alice stood up, slinging her purse over her shoulder. "I'll shoot you a text soon, Bella. See you peeps lat'a."

"Wait a minute here," Edward interrupted before Alice could make a grand exit. "What if Bella and I were doing something that night?"

I scowled. "But–"

"Sh, Bella," Edward muttered, looking at Alice.

She cocked a bitch brow at him. "Clearly you don't have anything planned, Edward. She already said yes to my plans."

Edward scowled, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. I laughed at the pout on his face. I was touched. He wanted me all to himself.

"I'm glad we're seeing eye-to-eye, dear," Alice said in a sugary-sweet voice. "Come on, Jasper."

Jasper stood and grabbed Alice's hand, leading them out of the cafeteria while she waved at us.

Edward scoffed.

"Oh, c'mon, Edward, it's just one night," I reminded him. "You'll survive."

"Whatever," he grumbled, still pouting.

Alice "shot me a text" on Wednesday morning while I ate my two bowels of Lucky Charms.

_Hey, B. Come 2 my house 6, k?_

_Sure. Wat shud i all bring?_

_Nything u want, dear._

_K._

I chewed my cereal, thinking about the food I would make. What kind of food did teenagers enjoy now-a-days? I was eating everything, so I wasn't a very good example. I decided on some Surprise Spread, these cream cheese roll things, and some dip for chips.

"Sue, I'm going to the store to get some chips," I told her as I grabbed the keys. Sue got every Wednesday off, and she usually just bummed around the house, watching Oprah and Dr. Phil. "I'll be back in a sec."

"Wait a minute, Bella," Sue said, entering the porch. "Why are you making a bunch of appetizers? Are you expecting company?"

"No, I'm going to Alice Brandon's tonight for a sleepover," I replied.

Sue crossed her arms. "You think so, huh?"

"I know so."

While I strolled the aisles of the grocery store, Edward texted me.

_Hey babe._

_Sup?_

_Just woke up. Wat r u doing?_

_Shopping 4 chips._

_Y?_

_I'm going 2 alice's tonight, remember?_

_Aw, shit. Ya i remember. That sucks._

I laughed while the cashier, a woman by the name of Bree, rang me through.

_Y? Did u plan on doing stuff w/ me?_

_Yes i did._

_Oh? Like wat?_

_It was gunna b a surprise. 2 late now._

I rolled my eyes.

_Ur such a baby._

_Yep, probably._

I sighed. Now he was pouty. I hated it when he had PES. Pissy Edward Syndrome. Which he had a lot of since we started dating. Don't get me wrong, Edward was an amazing boyfriend, but he could get upset over the stupidest things in the world.

_U mad?_

_No_

_U r so. Don't lie 2 me, plz._

_Maybe i'm a lil mad._

_Y? U knew i was going 2 alice's. We talked about this._

_I know, i just wanted to hang out w/ u._

_We've hung out like every other nite this week, edward._

_Not enough. ;)_

I laughed. He was back. Yes, Edward got pissed off, but he also bounced back quite nicely.

_Shud i send u dirty messages while i'm alice's?_

_Yes, plz._

_K, i will. ;) least then u can jack off._

_Oh, bella, ur always such a lady._

_Shut it. U like it. Don't even deny it._

_Fine. I like it._

By the time I got to Alice's, Rose was already there and Mrs. Brandon already had a flippin' buffet set up for us. There was so much food, too much food. I could feel Mrs. Brandon's eyes burning into me, but I didn't give a shit. I knew everyone talked about me, so I could handle it.

Alice had a sixteen-year-old brother that I forgot existed. Apparently he was going to private school in Port Angeles. He looked like he was freakin' twenty-three, not sixteen. His name was Peter, and he was a hoity-toity if I ever saw one.

"I didn't know you were taking on charity cases, sis," he commented while I chowed down on a sundae smothered in every topping possible.

"There's no charity here, dear brother," she hissed. "Now fuck off."

He snorted and strolled out of the room, his hands in his pockets.

"Sorry about that, Bee," Alice apologized. "He turned into such a little shit when he started going to school in P.A."

"NBD," I grunted. "I've heard worse."

"Your Surprise Spread was fantastic by the way, Bee," Rose said while she ran her finger along the edge of the dish it was in and licking it. "I'll have to get the recipe for that before we leave for uni."

"Where are you guys going anyway?" Alice asked.

"My dad has 'connections' at NYU," Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. "He used to be in the mafia. He still has some illegal shit going on in Washington."

"Oh. How nice," Alice said with a fake smile, obviously covering up her shock. "How about you, Bee?"

"U-Dub, I think," I replied. "Where are you going, Alice?"

"Well, Jasper has a football scholarship in Texas, so I want to go there," she murmured, eyes cast down. "But my parents want me to go to Harvard for business. So I don't know yet."

"Shit, girl. I know what you mean, kind of. Edward said he sent applications to Dartmouth and Harvard, too, and I dunno whether I should support him or tell him to stay with me," I said, rubbing her shoulder sympathetically.

"Don't be silly, Bella," Alice muttered. "Edward wouldn't dare leave you behind."

"I think he should though," I mumbled. "I feel like I'm ruining the life he had before."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You didn't ruin anything, Bella. Edward's never been so happy. He used to be such an emo."

"Yeah, I agree," Alice said with a nod. "He's not so moody anymore. He's pretty consistently happy, even though he pretty much loses his shit whenever someone dares to look at you for a second too long."

I blushed, but continued to argue with them. "But, he could be going to Harvard, for Christ's sake! That's huge! And I'm ruining that for him because he doesn't want to leave me behind."

"What's so wrong with him wanting to be with you, Bella?" Alice asked.

"I don't really feel worthy of his time," I admitted with a shrug. "I'm like the next crazy cat lady and he could be the next president."

Rosalie rolled her eyes again. "Shut up. Enough of this shit. You're good for Edward, too good for him, even if no one else believes that. In my opinion, no one is worthy of your time, my ex-lesbian lover."

Alice laughed. "Ditto. Minus the ex-lesbian lover comment."

I smiled weakly. "Yeah, forget about Edward. Let's watch some movies and get a sugar high."

It was seriously the first time in my whole life that I spent the night alone with girls. Rose and I had a friendship that usually happened during school hours and on weekends, when we'd both get high and sit outside the grocery store and laugh about stupid shit. I'd been to Rose's house a couple of times for schoolwork, and she'd been to my place a few times too, but we didn't, like, invite each other over to braid our hair or anything. And that's exactly what Alice Brandon had been craving all this time.

"You guys have no idea how long I've been waiting for girls to be brave enough to hang out with us," Alice sighed with a content smile while we set up our beds. "Well, maybe not being brave enough, but being cool enough."

My brows rose in surprise. "Cool enough?"

Alice nodded. "Yeah, I mean, it sounds weird, right? No offence, Bella, but you're practically an untouchable. And, well, Rosalie, you've always had the potential, but as soon as you associated yourself with Bella here, you tainted yourself." Alice shrugged. "I always thought you two were incredibly cool and for the longest time I considered inviting you to the table myself without interference with Edward's hidden feelings."

"Well, you aren't getting rid of us now," Rosalie said with a smile. "Bella's got Edward under a freakin' spell and Emmett's pretty much willing to do anything for me. You're stuck with us, Brandon."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she replied. "Now go to bed. Edward'll kill me if you don't get enough sleep."

_I'm defs a writer that focuses on the main characters and not the minor characters. This is for all the minor characters out there. Sorry._

_Today's my grad party! I'm stoked to hit up that keg, hah. And I can almost guarantee that I won't be posting next Sunday. I'll probably post on Monday, later in the afternoon/evening. It's a long weekend in Saskatchewan for sure. I don't know about the rest of Canada..._

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_Rec: _C 5 6_ by ss10. It's amazing. It could be angsty, but it's fluffy instead. A nice little change._


	14. Chapter 14

_March_

I was freaking six months pregnant. I had been with Edward for three out of those six months. When did I get all domestic and shit? I mean, I even started cooking supper almost every night for the fam. That was mostly because Sue was completely clueless when it came to my weird cravings.

Month six also brought really noticeable kicking. Dr. C. said I'd probably been feeling the kicking all along, but I just had been passing it off as hungry pangs or gassiness. Seth and Katie were both freakin' stoked. Katie spent, like, half an hour practically laying on me while the baby kicked her and she giggled. Seth would even sit there for fifteen minutes in complete awed silence, just feeling up my gigantic belly. Even Sue was impressed by my mad skills of calming Seth down.

Dr. C. and Mrs. C. decided to have a little pre-birth party, a baby shower, or whatever. So, Sue bought me a tent to wear. It was sort of cute, I guess. It made me look larger than usual though, which I didn't appreciate.

I didn't appreciate a lot of things now. Edward got on my nerves, Dad got on my nerves, Sue got on my nerves, though she was hardly ever off of them, and even Jake, my innocent little shit of a puppy, got on my nerves. I was in a constant bad mood. It was goodbye sexy time and hello moody time for Bella-bum. No one liked it. Not even me.

Somehow, though, I dealt and managed to throw a smile in every once in a while. Sometimes I needed to take my ten breaths before I could answer what I considered to be a stupid question. Sometimes I gave myself a TO after throwing a temper tantrum. I was managing my shit like a real adult. Dad was even sort of proud of me.

Baby gifts were not something I was educated in. I thought I'd better give a gift to the Cullens for being so awesome about this whole thing. They definitely deserved a gift from me.

I showed up at the house at around two a.m., which is when Mrs. Cullen decided that whole ordeal would start. When I arrived, there was only Mrs. C., Alice and her mom, and Mrs. Platt, Mrs. C.'s mom. Mrs. C., or _Esme,_ as I was told to call her, tried really hard not to accept my gift. I practically had to shove it into her arms. It was only some clothes and bottles and shit. Sue bought it since she couldn't be here for the shower.

Mrs. Masen and Katie showed up at about quarter after while everyone drank tea and ate some cake. Esme decided to wait until three to open her gifts.

Two-thirty rolled around and Rosalie strolled in the door, handing Esme a little gift from her and Mrs. Hale. Mrs. Hale was barely ever in Forks, though, so everyone knew it was just from Rose.

Three arrived, and some ladies from Esme's office in P.A. showed up. Esme and Mrs. Platt shared a sad smile before getting to work on the gifts. There were clothes, bottles, blankets, soothers, toys... It was a pretty good haul, considering the crowd.

Everyone started to help clean up. I always told everyone when the baby was kicking so they could grope my belly. People started heading out, and soon enough it was just Esme, Mrs. Masen, and I left in the living room. Katie was organizing the toys and stuff up in the baby's room.

Not gunna lie, I felt uncomfortable. I didn't know Esme that well, and I knew Mrs. Masen was still sort'a wary of me. She'd accepted the fact that Edward and I were in it for the long haul, but she didn't really get _how_ he could be interested in me. Well, Mrs. Masen, I don`t know either.

"So, Bella, are you feeling alright? Nothing's been going terribly wrong with the pregnancy?" Mrs. Masen asked.

"Nah, I'm healthy. Sue's on my ass all the time about taking vitamins and eating properly, so I'm in pretty good shape," I replied. "I'm still a little nervous about the whole birthing process, but who isn't, right?"

Mrs. Masen gave me a polite smile. "Yes, I remember when I was pregnant with Edward that was my greatest fear. I wasn't entirely sure if I'd have the strength to get a baby out of my body."

"Dude, I totally know what you're talking about!" I exclaimed while I rubbed my Buddha belly.

Mrs. Masen laughed nervously. "Um, yes, it's hard to believe, but you'll do it, Isabella. You'll be fine."

"I hope so."

After Katie was done organizing the toys, she and Mrs. Masen took off. Thank God. They made me nervous.

Esme and I did some more dishes before sitting down on the couch again. I was waiting for Edward to come pick me up, but he was doing some volunteer work down at the animal shelter. I actually got Jake from that shelter. Maybe I should have considered working there.

"Bella, Carlisle told me you're doing wonderfully," Esme said with a smile while we watched _Zombieland_ on TV.

I smiled at her. "Well, I'm doing the best I can. You guys deserve a healthy baby, and I'm going to give that to you."

Her eyes glistened. "Thank you so much, Bella. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"It's really no problem," I assured her. "You deserve a baby more than I do, and I'm not _that_ selfish, so of course I'm gunna give you this kid."

She hugged me tightly. Well, as tightly as she could around my stomach. A couple of minutes later, Edward showed up.

"Only three more months," I reminded her with a smile.

"I'm on the countdown," she admitted, hugging me one last time. "Bye, Bella."

"Check ya later, Esme."

I hopped in Edward's car and we went to his house.

"So, how'd it go?" he asked while we drove down the highway.

"It wasn't bad. There weren't many people, but she still got lots of gifts and everything," I told him.

"Was everyone nice to you?"

I snorted. "You sound like a dad picking up his daughter from her first day of Kindergarten right now."

Edward wrinkled his nose. "Sorry."

"No, it was cute," I assured him, grinning. "But, yeah, everyone was super nice."

"That's good."

We ended up driving around aimlessly for an hour before Edward dropped me off at home for supper. Sue would have kicked my ass if I didn't eat on time.

"Bye, babe," Edward said as I hauled ass outta his car. "I'll see you tomorrow, 'kay? What do you want to do anyway?"

"Let's just lie around," I huffed. "This is getting ridiculous. I can barely make it through my own front door!"

"Still the sexiest girl I've ever seen."

I rolled my eyes and flipped him the bird. He chuckled before I closed the door and waddled into my house. Sue made me eat freakin' brussel sprouts. What a bitch.

* * *

_Sorry for being late! :( Um, the weekend was a success. Seriously. My slo-pitch team won the B-side, and we might've been the drunkest team there. I was thoroughly impressed with our performance._

_Check out my new WIP: _Life is Just a Word. _This is my first attempt at some angst and I'd really appreciate some feedback. It's already four short chapters in, and it looks like I'll be pumping them out pretty regularly. I literally cannot stop writing this story. I was thinking about it while I was driving home from my cousin's grad party tonight. That's how obsessed I am._

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_Pimps are cool: _Just Wait _by InstantKarmaGirl. Holy heart fail. Her characters are so messed up, but it's such an awesome story. It's long, but you won't regret reading it._


	15. Chapter 15

_April_

I'm about two months away from my deadline. They backed it all the way up 'til May 29th. Even though I've still got time to make this baby grow, I am fucking _huge._ Like, disgustingly huge. And everyone I loved made sure I knew it.

"Hey, giant version of Bella," Charlie greeted me good-naturedly one Sunday morning. "How're you feeling, zeppelin?"

"Um, slightly larger than my normal self, but somewhat okay," I replied before grabbing a glass of milk and heading back upstairs.

Emmett liked to come up with new nicknames about my gigantic belly as often as possible. I couldn't even remember them all he'd come up with so many.

The only person that didn't bug me about my size was Edward. He assured me that I looked fine and that it didn't matter what size I was, he'd still love me.

What a catch.

School started getting more intense, so Edward had to start "tutoring" me. At least that's what he told his parents whenever I came over. We usually ended up talking about non-school things or making out. I wasn't really into letting Edward into my pants anymore. I was too big to be comfortable with having sex anymore. But, I did let the poor guy find some release. I was getting very good at handjobs. I wasn't into the blowjob scene. Ain't my thang.

People were kind of over bugging me. I mean, obviously people still stared at me and whispered behind my back, but they didn't flat out tell me I was a slut anymore. It was a welcome change. Sometimes I thought Edward was going to beat the shit out of the guys in our class when they talked to me like that. It was so hot.

I was at Edward's house a lot, being "tutored" and what-not. Sometimes we hung out with Katie. Mrs. Masen still wasn't 100% cool with me yet, but we were civil. Edward's dad, on the other hand, was sort of a dick. And when I say sort of, I mean a huge prick that probably had erectile dysfunction. It was the only reason I could come up with for him being so pissy all the time. I mean, come on. You've known I was preggo for months, dude. Get off my fucking back. It hurts enough already.

Anyway, I was taking a break from all the "tutoring" that was happening upstairs. I went into the kitchen to grab some water, because that was all I was allowed to drink besides milk now, and I fucking hate milk.

That's when Mr. Masen decided to walk into the kitchen.

I swallowed. I was mofo-ing nervous, and that's no lie. The guy just had that effect on me. I was so tense that someone could've snapped me over their knee. Okay, maybe not. I was, after all, roughly the size of a small doghouse.

"Hey, Mr. Masen," I greeted while I poured myself a glass of water.

"Ms. Swan," he murmured, eyeing up my belly like it was radioactive or something. How cool would that be? Radioactive Baby. That'd be a sick superhero name.

"Nice seeing you," I mumbled, turning to run to my safe haven.

"Just a second, Ms. Swan," Mr. Masen said, stopping me in my tracks.

I turned around, smiling slightly. "What do you need, Mr. Masen?"

"I just wanted to talk to you for a bit," he told me, smiling briefly and gesturing to the kitchen stools.

Thanks for reminding me that my ass will no longer fit on your miniature stools, asshole. But, I sat on one anyway and acted like I was comfortable.

"Ms. Swan, I know that you and Edward have gotten rather close over the past months, but, to be frank, I don't think this is the best thing for him at the moment," he began, looking me directly in the eyes. It was unnerving. "He could be great, Ms. Swan. You don't want to tie him down, do you?"

"No, God, no," I replied quickly. "I've been trying to tell him to go to Dartmouth and do all that teenager shit that I can't, but I don't know. He won't listen to me."

Mr. Masen smiled deviously. "There is a way you could most likely get him to do those things, Ms. Swan."

"What?" I asked eagerly. If there was something reasonable I could do to get Edward to haul ass to Dartmouth in the fall or go to prom next weekend without me, I'd most defs do it. I felt like a total bitch for making him miss out on all that teenager stuff. Some people liked doing that shit, y'know?

"Break up with him," Mr. Masen replied simply. "It's not as if you need his help to raise the child, you're giving it up for adoption. Clearly you have his best interests at heart, just like I do, Ms. Swan. Really, it's what's best for him, don't you think."

I was in fucking shock. Mr. Masen just told me to break up with Edward because it was what was best for him. Well, now that I got to thinking about it, he was probably right. I was a shitty girlfriend for _anyone,_ let alone Mr. Perfect that was waiting for me upstairs.

"Sleep on it, Ms. Swan," Mr. Masen told me, "but I'm sure you'll find that this is the best option. For both of you."

I nodded meekly before sliding off of the stool and grabbing my water. I padded up the stairs slowly; Mr. Masen's rattling my brain. It's what's best... He'd be better without you... He could be great... It was all true.

Edward noticed right away that there was something wrong.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked urgently, feeling my forehead.

"I'm fine, just tired," I mumbled, avoiding his worried stare. "I think I'll call 'er quits for tonight. We'll, uh, we'll hang out tomorrow."

"Text me when you get home," he commanded.

I nodded and left his house, still a little dazed by Mr. Masen's words.

By the next morning, I knew what I had to do. I had to break up with Edward. It was going to hurt like a bitch, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. I mean, I could handle it if I knew Edward would be better. Which he would be. He'd find a good girl and have kids _after_ he got married and all would be right in the world. I, well, I'd figure my shit out eventually. Someday I'd find someone that isn't Mike Newton to put up with my shenanigans. Or I'd just buy a fuckload of cats and go mentally insane. Either way, I'd be content if I knew Edward was doing well.

It was Sunday, so Sue, Seth, and Charlie were all down at La Push, visiting Sue's mom and dad. Edward always came to my house on Sundays.

I woke up early and showered for a long time, until the water ran cold. I brushed my hair about a million times, until all of my hair was completely dry. I cleaned the house. I made some breakfast. I watched some TV. And, finally, I prayed. I literally got down on my knees and prayed.

"Dear God," I began quietly. "Can you do me a solid this one time? Can you make Edward break up with me first? I don't want to hurt him, I really don't. I don't think I could stand to see the hurt in his eyes. He loves me, God, and I love him, but this just ain't right. I'm all wrong for him. He should be dating, like, some super smart chick from New York City. A girl that can jam with him on the violin and talk about quantum physics or some shit. I mean, crap. Or some crap.

"Um, anyway, I know I haven't exactly been the best...disciple, if that's the proper word. I mean, I'm freakin' preggo. I'm the size of a house. I swear too much. I do drugs when I'm not pregnant. Sometimes I consider hurting Sue for being so retarded. I'm a sinner. I know. But, I'll try my damndest – I mean, hardest – to be a better person. But only if you make Edward break up with me first. Or at least make him not be in pain when I break up with him. I don't even care if he laughs in my face when I do it, just don't let him hurt. Um, amen."

I stood up and awkwardly made the cross and saluted towards my roof.

That's when You Know Who knocked on my door. And it wasn't Voldemort. Or Santa Clause.

Edward was here.

* * *

_**Edit from last chapter: The baby shower actually started a TWO P.M., not two a.m. that was my mistake! Thank you to smartcandies103 for pointing that out!**_

_Bad news, bears._

_Three more chapter and an epi! Anyone else sad? I so sad. :( But! On the bright side, after TBL is done, Learning to Breathe will begin! The posting will be a little more sporatic, because I only have four chapters written, but, I'll try my darndest to pump out one chapter a week. _

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_Recc'age: _Fourteen _by crimsonmarie. It's completed and it's very different from the regular Twilight stories. _


	16. Chapter 16

"Um, just a minute!" I called, straightening myself up nervously. Although, there really was no reason to straighten myself up. I was breaking up with the only guy I'd been in love with. Why did I have to look good for this shit?

I waddled to the door and opened it to find a smiling Edward. God, he was so trusting. And I was about to break his heart.

Yeah, I was definitely going to hell.

"Hi," I murmured, letting him in.

He kissed my cheek and entered the house, making himself at home on my couch, turning on the TV to TSN. If Charlie was willing to maybe stop with all the theatrics, he'd get along with Edward really well. They both loved sports and they both were way too protective. They could probably exchange strategies on how to keep me away from all the bad influences in the world.

Thank God Charlie was such a prick to Edward.

"So, what're we gunna do today?" Edward asked, glancing at me as I stood nervously in the doorway to the living room. "Eat and sleep? Make out and watch movies? What's on the agenda?"

"Um," I began. "We have to talk."

"Oh-kay," Edward said slowly, standing up. "Where?"

"Here. Here's probably the best," I muttered, shifting back and forth between my feet. They were swollen and my back hurt and I was on the verge of a panic attack. I needed to get high. But I couldn't. This fucking sucked.

"What's going on, Bella?" Edward asked cautiously. "You're freaking me out a little here."

"Sorry," I mumbled, putting my hands over my eyes, rubbing them, and then dragging my hands over my face, pulling the skin. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," he assured me, grabbing my arms. "Just tell me what's wrong."

I looked up at him and bite my lip, my brow furrowing. I shook my head, trying to remember all the things Mr. Masen had told me. I wasn't right for him, he had so much to live for, he could be great... Right. He would be great without me.

"It's just... I don't think we're right for each other, Edward," I finally sighed, looking down.

His hands tightened around my arms before he let go of my completely. Ouch. This was actually happening. I was actually giving him up.

"You're missing out on so much because of me," I continued. "You could have a normal girlfriend, you could be going to Dartmouth in the fall, you could... I don't know. You could do so many things if it wasn't for me. And I don't want to hold you back anymore. I'm sorry."

"Bella, you're not holding me back," Edward told me quietly. "You've made me a better person."

I shook my head, laughing slightly. "Come on, Edward. I've made you a better person? Let's be reasonable now."

"Yes, let's be reasonable," Edward repeated. "Why the hell are you trying to break up with me? Did someone say something to you, Bella? Tell me who it was."

"No one said anything, Edward!" I snapped. Wow, our first fight. And our final one. Dramatic. "This is my own damn decision!"

He looked completely stunned.

"I don't love you! I'm not in love with you! I never was!" I yelled, lying like there was no tomorrow. "I don't want you in my life anymore. I don't need you."

"You...you don't want me?" Edward asked, still in shock from my outburst.

"No," I replied coolly. "I don't want you anymore."

"Well, that changes thing," he muttered to himself, running his hands through his hair. "I'll, uh, I'll see you around."

"Bye, Edward," I whispered, turning away from him so he wouldn't see me cry.

So, turns out, breaking up with Edward didn't go well, even though I prayed. He was devastated, according to Rosalie. I took a couple of days of school so I could get shit together. I needed to look indifferent. I didn't want to make this any harder than it had to be.

When I went back to school on Wednesday morning, I just pretended I was fine. I avoided everyone and everyone whispered about me. I didn't even pay attention to them anymore. It didn't matter what they thought, I knew what happened. And I felt like a fucking bitch.

I tried sitting with Mike Newton, 'cause I didn't want to force Rose to ditch her new boyfriend. But, not even Mike Newton would sit with me anymore. He said his mom didn't think it was a good idea to "associate" with me anymore. Fuck, he only wished he "associated" with me.

So, I sat at a table all by my lonesome. With people staring and pointing and whispering. I was so sick of this dead beat town and all this small town rumours. Did these people have nothing better to do? Honestly.

I saw Edward at lunch. He looked...exhausted. Just like I felt. I felt like such a Judas. Except, not really at all. I wasn't a Judas, but people were treating me like that. It felt like I had done something absolutely sinful. I had broken Edward Masen's heart.

I could almost hear the bitches talking:

"_How _could_ she?"_

"_He's gorgeous! He could do so much better and she could do so much worse!"_

"_He should've been with me!"_

Yeah. That was the general consensus on my actions.

Bio was awkward. Thank God we'd finished our project. All we had to do was sit beside each other for another couple of weeks, then it'd be all over.

Fuck. It'd be all over in a couple of weeks. I couldn't imagine not seeing Edward, not hearing his voice, not reaching for his hand.

Holy mofo. I couldn't do that anymore. I wasn't allowed to. I gave up hand-holding rights when I broke his heart.

_Remember, it's for his own good,_ my subconscious reminded me quietly.

Bitch.

Thursday, I felt slightly more saddened by my new life. I didn't have friends to sit with at lunch anymore. All I had was a giant belly, some homework, and mismatched food.

"Ms. Swan?" Mr. Banner asked, while I walked towards my first class.

"Hmm?" I hummed, taken out of my trance.

"That shirt isn't appropriate for school, Ms. Swan," Mr. Banner said, looking at my chest.

I looked down. It was the most comfortable shirt in my entire house. It was one of Charlie's old shirts, which read "Suck It" with a stick guy holding his crotch. Coolest thing that Charlie owned, hands down.

"Yeah, well that moustache makes you look like a pedophile, so fuck off," I retaliated grumpily.

Mr. Banner stammered out some unintelligible words while I continued walking towards my first class. The people around me were whispering. Again. Emmett gave me a grin and a high five, but that was it.

I was still the social pariah of Forks High School. After fucking Edward Masen at the Homecoming Dance, after becoming pregnant, after dating Edward Masen, after breaking his heart... It all didn't matter. I was still as popular as a skunk at a perfume shop.

* * *

_Sad panda, right? Yeah, it doesn't stay sad for long. Actually, there are only two chapters and an epi left! Then we start _Learning to Breathe_, which is Edward's point of view on this story. And I gotta say, I love being in this Edward's head. So much fun. The chapters are longer, too. He overthinks _everything._ It's awesome._

_I wrote that little diddy with Mr. Banner a long time ago. It's been sitting in my phone, waiting to be used._

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6  
Blog: ladyinblue6(.)blogspot(.)com_

_My first T-rated rec: _The Way I Loved You _by Fall Down Again Bella. This author writes amazing T-rated stories._


	17. Chapter 17

Prom came and went. I creeped on everyone's pictures on Facebook as they were posted on Sunday. No big deal, but I definitely turned into a huge ass Facebook and Twitter creep. That shit kept me amused for hours on end. Now that I had nothing better to do with my life, all I did was live vicariously through other peoples' statuses and pictures. I am one pathetic loser.

Charlie and I talked a lot. About everything. Renee had never really been my mom, and I'd never accepted Sue fully, although we put aside our differences often enough to be considered family. Charlie was all I had for a parent, though. And we never talked. I guess it took my first real break-up to make me realize that sometimes you just need to talk to someone that'll love you no matter what.

"Dad, I feel like I'm losing my faith in humanity," I sighed one day after school. One especially hellish day when I saw Tanya Denali talking to Edward and groping his forearm.

"That's a pretty broad subject, Bells," he murmured as he cleaned his gun.

"I'm just wondering if two people can actually make it, y'know?" I said, picking at our old, shitty table. Our old, shitty table full of memories. Like the time I gave myself a black eye after I fainted because Sue went into labour right in front of me with Seth.

"You mean like couples?" Charlie asked, setting the gun down and finally paying attention to me.

"Yeah, like people in love."

"Are you having boy issues again, Bells? 'Cause, to be honest, I wasn't even okay with you dating that Masen kid, and he's the father of your child. It's a little...messed up, kid," Charlie replied honestly, a look of concern on his face.

"No," I promised. "God, no."

"Isn't that sort of skanky? Skeevy? What do you kids call it these days?" Charlie asked himself.

"Please shut up," I groaned.

"Tore up from the floor up?" he persisted, amused by my embarrassment. If I ever heard Charlie say "tore up from the floor up" ever again, I didn't know what I'd do with myself.

"Ew, Dad, that's not what I'm talking about," I told him. "I'm just wondering if two people can stay together forever."

"Well, I know I might not be the best example, but I've loved two of the best women this world has had to offer," Charlie started. "And, I have a daughter that I love very much, too. But, Sue and I have been married for... God, I don't even know how long. How old's Seth?"

"Ten," I replied.

"Well, I guess it'd be around eleven or twelve years then," Charlie continued. "And I love her very much. Your mother and I may not have been married for long, but I loved her dearly, too. Still love her."

I nodded.

"Look, the best thing to do is just to find a person that accepts you for who you are," Charlie told me. "Good mood, bad mood, it shouldn't matter. That person'll still think the sun shines out your ass, and that's the kind of person worth sticking with."

I nodded again. It was the most valuable piece of information I'd ever gotten out of Charlie before. Not that I was going to make much use of it, but at least I knew who I loved and who I was meant for. Edward was the only guy for me. Too bad I wasn't willing to make him stoop to my level.

"And, I think we both know who that person is," Charlie continued with a smile.

Wait. What?

He must've recognized the blank look on my face, because he smiled and gripped my shoulder before saying, "Your good, old D-A-D, of course!"

I smiled. Yeah, or not, but I'll go along with it.

"Sure, Dad, that's exactly who I was thinking of."

"Didn't anyone ever tell you your dad's the only boy you can count on?" Charlie asked, still grinning. "I'll be here for you no matter what, kiddo. I think I've made that obvious since you got all...pregnant and stuff."

I had to chuckle at him. "Yep, you're absolutely right, Dad. I'll come make supper in a while."

"Love ya, kid."

"Love you too, Dad."

Seth and Jake were my new best friends. Seth's favourite thing to do was just lie down in the living room, on the floor, and rest his hand on my belly and feel the ginormous baby kick it's little legs like there was no tomorrow. The little guy was violent. A fighter.

Another thing Seth enjoyed doing was putting Jake on my stomach. Jake absolutely fucking flipped when he felt the baby kick. It was hilarious. He'd bark and growl at my stomach, staring it down like something was going to pop out of my belly button. I'd laugh so hard I could barely breathe and Seth would be practically pissing his pants. Oh, the things we do to keep ourselves amused.

One time I saw Katie at the grocery store with Mrs. Masen. Mrs. Masen was looking at the back of some cereal, and I was grabbing, like, three boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It was on sale, and I loved that cereal more than any other food in the world. For now at least.

"Hey, Bella!" Katie greeted, coming up to me and attempting to hug me. She failed. She could barely fit her arms around my protruding stomach.

"Hey, Katie," I replied, ruffling her hair playfully. "How're you doing, girl? Keeping your bro in line?"

She nodded, smiling at me, showing off her missing teeth.

"Jeez, you have fewer teeth than my Nonna! Have you lost more lately?" I asked her, peering into her mouth.

"Yeah, I've lost three since you were last at the house," Katie told me. She looked a little sullen. "Edward said you weren't going to be around anymore."

"Sorry, kid," I apologized, smiling sadly. "I'm, uh, we're not together anymore."

"I know," she sighed.

"Katie?" Mrs. Masen called.

"I'll see you later, chica," I murmured, ruffling her hair again.

"Bye, Bella."

School was school. I was suspended after calling Mr. Banner a pedophile, but only for a day. Charlie was not impressed. But, what could he punish me with? Take away my cell phone? No one called me anyway. Not let me out of the house? I never left. Take away the computer? I needed it for homework.

I got a famous Charlie Swan Lecture instead. I should "be more responsible" and "act my age." What-the-fuck-ever. Everyone just needed to get the hell off my back. I just wanted to be left alone.

That was the only good thing about school. People avoided me like the plague. Normal people would be upset by that, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. I didn't have to talk to anyone, besides Rose, who occasionally asked me how things were going, and no one dared ask me questions anymore.

I passed my finals by some chance of sheer luck. I even got a couple of awards. Turns out I'm not half bad at some of the shit we've learnt over the years.

Edward was our valedictorian. Mr. Banner announced that Edward was going to U-Dub in the fall. This pissed me off. What the fuck happened to Dartmouth? He was supposed to go to Dartmouth if I broke up with him. I decided I was going to talk to him about that.

We were waiting in line for our diplomas while I figured out exactly what I was going to say to Edward. How could I make it sound like Dartmouth wasn't the reason why I broke up with Edward? It would end up sounding sketchy at the end if I didn't word it properly...

Oh my fucking God. I think I just wet myself. I lifted up my ugly blue dress-thing and saw a puddle of clear liquid underneath me. My jeans were soaked from the crotch down.

"Holy fuck!" I exclaimed. "Dad? Sue? I think my water just broke."

Jessica Stanley shrieked, took one look at my wet pants, and fainted. I snorted and started waddling away. I've always had a flair for the dramatics.

Charlie and Sue rushed over to me, Seth following behind, shouting at all of us, asking us what was going on and why I'd pissed my pants.

"You watch your mouth, young man," Charlie warned as he gripped my forearm, helping me towards the door.

Mr. Banner announced, "Alright, everyone, clear the way. Woman going into labour coming through."

I heard Edward yell, "What? Bella's in labour?" and Emmett say, "It looks like she just pissed her pants. She's not going into labour."

All I could think was, _Please don't let it be too painful._

* * *

_Shit's getting real, peeps! I took that little bit with Charlie right from the movie. That scene was too awesome to not quote almost directly._

_Sorry for the lateness. I got in a fight with my best guy friend on Saturday night, and I was stressin' big time yesterday morning. And then I moved more of my stuff up to my house in Moose Jaw, and I stayed the night without my laptop. :( Anyway, one more chapter + the epi! So sad!_

_There'll be a teaser Monday on A Different Forest!_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_What to read this week: _The Emperors of Washington _by gallantcorkscrews. So eff-ed up, but so, so addictingly good._


	18. Chapter 18

It was painful. I couldn't compare it to anything because it was the most painful experience of my life and I fucking hated going through it. I didn't want to ever do it again. Once was enough. Even with the gigantic needle in my spine, it still hurt like a bitch.

Nothing was more satisfying than getting that baby out of my body. I'd never felt so relieved when it was all over. I was still in fucking pain like no bitch's business, but it was over. I did it. I pushed a tiny human through my vag and lived to tell the tale.

I didn't get to name her, but I did get to see her. She was beautiful. Well, as beautiful as one can be when covered in blood and other bodily fluids. The doctor set her on my belly and I watched her scream in awe. That girl came out of my body. I made that girl with Edward Cullen back in September at Homecoming. Jesus H. Christ. I couldn't believe it.

Dr. C. and Esme showed up soon after. They cleaned the baby up and set her up in the incubator, or whatever they put babies in after they're born. Dr. C. asked me how I was doing and all that junk before he went to check on the babe.

"Did you pick a name?" Esme asked me while we waited to see the baby again.

I shook my head. "Nah, I think you should pick a name."

"Please, Bella, it'd mean the world to me if you picked her name," Esme pleaded.

"I haven't really thought about naming her," I admitted, running a hand through my now-greasy hair. "Um, how about Carlie? I don't know. Like, Charlie and Carlisle put together? They're my two main men. Love 'em to death."

Esme laughed. "It's a beautiful name, Bella. Thank you."

"Welcome," I mumbled.

Sue and Charlie came back with some junk food for me to chow down on. Seth was chillin' in the waiting room with some other people that Charlie wouldn't tell me about.

"How're you feeling, Bells? Charlie asked while I crushed a Mars Bar.

I shrugged. "I feel like I lost about ten pounds in two hours. Glorious. Sweaty. Tired. I don't know."

"I'm proud of you," Sue told me with a smile. "You've done a wonderful thing, Bella."

"Awe, shucks, Sue," I replied. "Way to make a girl blush."

Charlie, Sue, and I got to see Carlie one more time before the Cullens took over as her parents. She was going to have a stellar life. I couldn't wait to meet her later on. From what I saw, she had auburn hair already. She'd look a lot like Edward, hopefully. He had all the good looks out of the two of us. Maybe she'd have his shocking green eyes or his crooked smile. Maybe she'd be able to write music like Edward did.

I got showered and cleaned up a bit, but I had to spend the night at the hospital just in case some complications arose. I was so exhausted, but I couldn't fall asleep. My mind wouldn't shut up. I was thinking about Carlie, I was thinking about school, I was thinking about my future, I was thinking about my past, and I was thinking about Edward.

Of course, when Charlie finally allowed other people to come see me, he was the first one in the room, followed by Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper. My lunch friends. My ex-boyfriend.

"How are you? Is it gone?" Edward asked, his eyes full of concern. He knelt down beside me, grabbing my hand in both of his, squeezing it.

"I'm as good as I can be, I guess," I replied. "And, yeah, she's already gone."

"She?" Edward asked, smiling. "We had a baby girl? What'd they name her?"

"_I_ named her Carlie," I murmured, smiling. "Esme wanted me to name her."

"Carlie," Edward repeated, trying the name out. "It's beautiful, Bella."

I blushed. "Thanks."

"I told you she went into labour, you dumbass," Rosalie told Emmett, punching his arm.

Emmett rubbed where Rose had just punched and said, "It looked like you pissed your pants, Bell. No offence."

I laughed quietly. "None taken. For a second, I thought I just peed my pants, too."

"How big was she?" Edward asked.

"Um, six pounds, ten ounces, I think. Nineteen inches long. Just a little baby." I smiled briefly. "Did you guys just get here, or...?"

"Oh, hell no," Alice replied with a grin. "We followed you to the hospital. As soon as Eddie heard you were in labour, he bolted and we followed."

I looked at Edward. His ears were bright red, but he was still looking me in the eyes.

"Can you guys, uh, leave us alone for a minute?" I requested quietly.

They all nodded and left the room, closing the door behind them.

I sighed, trying to collect my thoughts.

"Listen, Bella, I know we haven't been a couple for a month, but I was worried about you and the baby–" Edward began.

"Shh," I hushed. "Listen to me, please."

He nodded, physically zipping his lips shut, locking them, and throwing away the key, making me giggle.

"Edward, I broke up with because I felt like I was holding you back," I told him honestly. "I couldn't comprehend it when you actually believed me when I said I didn't love you or want you anymore. How could you doubt something like that?"

"I–" he started again.

"No, listen," I interrupted. "Anyway, I had talked to your dad before I broke up with you. He said that you could be great, and because of me, you were holding yourself back."

"What a dick!" Edward exclaimed quickly before I could interrupt him.

"No, I agree with him," I continued. "I was holding you back, Edward. As if you weren't going to go to Harvard or Dartmouth because of me. I could handle being away from you. I trust you and I know you trust me.

"But, I don't know if I want you to go away anymore," I admitted. "I've been thinking a lot lately, about what I'm going to do in the future. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Edward. While we were dating, I wasn't too worried about it, because I'd have you to help me along the way. Now that I don't have you anymore, I have no clue what I'm going to do with my life."

"Bella," Edward murmured, looking a little pained. "Please don't say that."

"It's true," I whispered.

"You can't tell me stuff like that anymore," Edward mumbled, looking away from me. "Not if I can't have you."

"Give me a second go?" I asked hopefully. "I mean, I'd understand if you don't want to. I hurt you purposely, even though that wasn't really my intention at all. I thought I was doing something good for you. I even _prayed_ about it, Edward. I got down on my knees and I prayed that either you'd break up with me first or you'd be cool with me breaking up with you. I'd way rather be all alone in my pain than have you feeling the same way."

Edward smiled crookedly. "Bella, you're so ridiculous. Did you really expect me to move on so quickly? I've had a crush on you for _years,_ I dated you for five months. I'm still in love with you, Bella. Of course I want to be with you."

I sniffled. I was crying like a wuss. Seth would be laughing at me right now if he was in the room.

"Are you crying?" Edward asked. "I don't think I've seen you actually cry ever, Bella."

I nodded, biting my lip.

Edward hopped on my small bed with me, pulling me into his lap and letting me cry into his shirt.

"I had a baby," I wailed. "I can't believe it."

"I know, babe," Edward murmured. I could hear the smile in his voice. "It'll be okay. You'll be okay. We'll be okay."

"Okay," I whispered.

And we were okay. We picked up where we left off. Sort of. I mean, I wasn't pregnant anymore, and for a while, all I wanted to do was lie around and recover. Edward was okay with that, though. He didn't mind taking it slow for a while.

Our summer together was amazing. We were both living in res next year at the university, so we'd be super close to each other. We weren't ready to live together yet. Maybe later, though.

I was going into school to become a counsellor. I had enough experience with high school to be able to advise other kids, I guess. Being pregnant, being the loser, being popular for a couple of weeks... I'd experienced a lot at FHS.

The main point is, I was surviving. More than surviving actually. I was loving life. I'd have it no other way.

* * *

_THE END._

_The song that goes with this is _Second Go _by Lights. I loveee that song._

_There will be an epi. No worries, dudes. And, I'll start posting _Learning to Breathe,_ which is Edward's PoV of TBL soon._

_I'm not entirely sure when I'll finish the epi or get far enough ahead in _Learning to Breathe_ to start posting because I'm leaving for school today. :( And then next weekend is my graduation from high school and stuff, so you might have to wait a little more than a week. We'll see how much homework these uni professors give me. (I hate the fact that I'm not in high school anymore. I'm still a child! Let me stay! Hah.)_

_Got questions for me about TBL? Here's how you get a hold of me, besides reviewing, which is always nice:  
Gmail: ladyinblue6(at)gmail(.)com  
Twitter: maryinblue6  
Formspring: ladyinblue6_

_Pimping: _Bella Swan: Zombie Killer _by Kristen Nicole. This Bella is hilarious and strong and a kick ass leader. And her Edward, fuck me. He's a nerdy-type, and so cute. I want him badddd._


	19. Epilogue

_Five Years Later_

"Hurry up, Lateward!" I yelled. Gosh darn it, we were gunna be late for Alice and Jasper's wedding if he didn't hustle his bustle. "Seriously, dude. We're gunna be ridiculously late. Alice will have my head on a platter."

"I'm coming," he said breathlessly as he ran down our stairs, tying his tie. "I'm here, let's go."

I giggled as I followed him outside and into the Volvo. Yeah, I gave up my classic truck for the "safer" vehicle. Psh. Whatever. My truck was a friggin' tank. But, Edward said it was a death trap, so I let him have his way.

"You take longer than me to get ready," I pointed out with a grin. "You're such a woman, Edward."

Edward scowled out at the road. "Just because I'm not naturally drop-dead gorgeous like you doesn't mean you can make fun of me. Meanie."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. Drop-dead. I make everyone drop dead with my looks. That sounds about right."

"Oh, shut up, you silly, silly girl," Edward murmured with a smile. He grabbed my hand and brought it up to his lips, brushing them over my knuckles. "You're the most beautiful girl in the world."

"You're so biased it's not even funny," I grumbled mockingly.

We arrived at the church in a nick of time. We took our seats beside Emmett and Rosalie just before Alice walked down the aisle towards Jasper, who was smiling so widely, I thought his face was going to split open.

The service was short and sweet, just how I liked it. Alice only had her older sister as her bridesmaid, and Jasper had his cousin as his best man. It was a small wedding, which I loved. I didn't have to deal with all of our old classmates coming up to me and asking how I was doing, what job I had, whether I was still with Edward, and how Carlie was doing.

Yeah, those questions definitely got annoying after the fiftieth time.

I basically answered the same every time: "I'm fine, thank you. I'm working at the private school in Port Angeles as the student counsellor, and I make enough money to be more than happy. Yes, I'm still with Edward. No, we aren't married yet, but we are engaged and living together. Carlie's doing perfectly fine. She just started Kindergarten. I haven't seen her since I gave birth to her, but I receive pictures all the time. She's lovely. How are you doing?"

It was a mouthful, I tell ya.

Edward and I stayed in the only motel Forks had after Alice and Jasper took off for the honeymoon in England. Rose and Emmett were still living in Forks, working for Rose's dad in the autobody shop. Turns out Rose has a wicked knack for fine tuning vehicles. Who would'a thunk it?

We made sweet, sweet love in our shitty motel room. Ha, just kidding. Edward was too disgusted by the stained sheets to even get under the covers, let alone take off his clothes. We both slept in full outfits. We even held hands so we wouldn't touch the dirty bed. Awful at the time, but hilarious later.

Edward and I decided that that weekend would be the best weekend to go visit our daughter for the first time. We phoned Dr. C. and Esme, and they were both totally stoked for us to come on down to hick town to visit Carlie. We decided it'd be best to hold off on the whole Luke-I-am-your-father talk for now. Edward and I would just be random visitors. But, sooner or later, she'd know. Dr. C. and Esme wanted to know who her real parents were.

We drove to the ol' Cullen Castle the next day after we visited my dad and Sue briefly. Edward's parents were on vacay in the Bahamas for now, but I wasn't too disappointed that we didn't get to see them. Well, Mr. Masen at least. He was still on my shit list. He was even higher on Edward's shit list.

"I'm scared," I admitted after Edward shut off the car.

"So am I," Edward murmured, staring at the large house in front of us. "This will be the first time I'll ever get to see her in real life."

I grabbed his hand and smiled at him reassuringly. "It'll be okay."

"As long as you're here, it will be," he replied, returning the smile. "Let's do this."

We got out of the car and walked up to the front door, knocking, and then fidgeting while we waited for someone to answer.

A little girl with auburn hair and brown eyes flung open the door with a gigantic smile. She was missing her two front teeth. She had dimples. She was perfect.

"Hello," I murmured in a quivering voice. "Are you parents here?"

The girl nodded, and yelled over her shoulder, "MOM! SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!"

Edward chuckled, but when I looked up into his eyes, I noticed tears.

Esme came to the door with a gigantic smile. "Hello! I'm so happy you guys decided to come!" She motioned for us to enter the house.

We stepped in and took off our shoes and jackets, taking turns hugging Esme, and following her into the living room.

"Carlie, why don't you introduce yourself to my friends?" Esme requested of her daughter with a gentle smile.

"Hello," Carlie greeted shyly, her hands behind her back. She looked up at us through her eyelashes and Edward sucked in a breath. "I'm Carlie Cullen; it's a pleasure to meet you."

I knelt down to her eye level. "Hello, Carlie. I'm Bella Swan."

"Hi, Bella," she replied, swinging her upper body back and forth.

"This is my fiancé, Edward," I continued, pointing up at Edward and smiling at him.

Carlie just blushed and looked down at the ground with a smile when Edward smiled at her. Well, there ya go. She did have a little bit of me in her.

"Carlisle won't be home until later," Esme told us as we sat down on the couch across from her. "He tried to get away from the hospital, but Jessica Stanley went into labour this morning, and things aren't exactly moving quickly."

"Leave it to Jessica to make things dramatic," Edward commented with a smirk.

Esme laughed, and said, "Oh, Edward. Don't be saying things like that."

Edward just shrugged and continued to smirk as he put his arm over the back of the couch, around my shoulder.

"I'm going into Kindergarten," Carlie announced proudly, bringing the attention back towards her.

"Really? That's exciting," I replied with a grin. "Do you have all of your school supplies?"

Carlie nodded enthusiastically before bolting off somewhere and returning with a backpack and a large plastic bag. She showed us everything. Every crayon, eraser, and pencil. It didn't matter that they were only school supplies, she had me completely captivated. She was charming and smart. I was so happy that I decided to get to know her.

We stayed for supper and caught up with Docta' C. and Esme for a while before heading back to our shitty hotel.

"You know, I think we would've been good parents for her," Edward said as he closed the door behind us. "She's so much like you... She's got your eyes and your smile... And she's quirky and loud, too." He grinned at me.

I rolled my eyes. "She's got a lot of you, too. Her hair... It's the exact same as yours. And her skin," I raised an eyebrow and smirked, "it's super pale, just like your pasty ass. Except Carlie can pull it off, and you can't."

Edward stalked towards me. I crossed my arms and tilted my chin up, daring him to argue with me.

"You're not so different, ghost girl," Edward murmured, bowing his head so that his lips were against my forehead. "I'd say that's something we have in common for sure."

I leaned forward and kissed his Adam's apple gently.

"I love you," I whispered against his skin.

"I love you, too," Edward sighed into my hair. "When're we gunna make this official, Bella? I mean, being engaged is great, and I'm happy, but I want more now. I want to put another ring on your finger. I want to move out of our little apartment and into a house so that we can think about having more kids – kids that we can keep."

My eyes filled with tears. Yeah, I was a little shell-shocked after seeing Carlie, too. At the time, she hadn't felt like mine. I was simply a vessel for Carlisle and Esme's kid. But now... After seeing all the similarities between her and Edward and I... Things changed. She was mine, in blood and in personality. She belonged in Esme and Carlisle's life, but she was a part of me. She always would be.

"Let's set a date," I murmured. "Let's do this. Let's have our wedding in June or something. When I'm out of school."

Edward smiled at me so widely I thought his face was going to split into two pieces.

"Okay, June it is," he agreed. "You know, that leaves us time to have another baby..."

I immediately shook my head. "No. Not 'til after we're married. You can wait another ten months. Let's do things in order this time, 'kay?"

Edward nodded, still smiling as widely as his lips would allow.

"Whatever you say, babe," he said. "Just as long as you're mine."

"I am," I replied with a smile. "And you're mine."

"Of course. Forever and ever."

Happiness wasn't a strong enough word to describe the emotion I was feeling in that moment.

* * *

_So, there you have it. The end of TBL for real. I'll do a different epi for Edward's story. Maybe the proposal, maybe the marriage, maybe after they've had another kid or two or seven... Who knows? I'm still writing _Learning to Breathe.

_However, I will be posting the first chapter of LtB tomorrow. And, then, I'll post every second Wednesday until I can sit down and finish the danged fic. Then, it'll be every Wednesday! Hump Day, woohoo!_

_Thank you all so, so much for reading and sticking with me. A special thanks to Kassiah for giving a little shout-out on the Fictionators! I appreciate it so, so much! Thanks to everyone coming and greeting me on Twitter. I answer every mention. My life would not be complete without all of you, and I love to share the love. _

_xoxo forever,  
lib6_


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